Hall of Shame (page 6)
Below are more stories of families unjustly separated by the "system" without representation of counsel and/or a Jury of their peers. The starting page, with an index, is here. These people have volunteered their stories so that everyone can understand the true damage being done, and also, so those who may be experiencing your own personal "nightmare" may realize -- you are not alone! We want you to here them in their own words. We can't vouch for the accuracy of these tales and we hope you will understand the bitterness and frustration you will hear in some of these.
Children/Birth Date: Dante Raphael Amor (Rafe) August, 2002
Date Separated: Nov 2003
Dependency; May give custody to abusive Father 2500 miles away who did not want him and never visited him to close the case.
September 26, 2005 11AM Monday, Teddy Bear Shelter I saw my son for the first time today. It was horrible. Francis Caccovale, the visitation supervisor, met me at the shelter. When I saw my son, I ran over to him. He stood there, hunched over, arms hanging at his sides, completely spaced out, as though he had a lobotomy. I kept saying,” Ruffles, it’s Mama.” He was totally gone. I couldn’t reach him. I took him to the back room with Francis, who documented everything. I got out our baby book scrapbook to read to him. He finally became more responsive, but was still very passive. I asked if he was on any medication, and Francis said no. I sat, holding him on the couch, for almost an hour. Francis commented on how well he could read, spell, and count.
She asked if I had ever thought about going into Early Childhood Development for a career. I replied that I was considering that or teaching when Rafe was older. She commented on how good I was with him, and said he needed to go home with me, as there was no abuse or neglect, that was evident by his reactions and by the baby book that I was reading to him It has all of his certificates and activities, and is the same baby book that Corie Adams, the initial investigative caseworker, tried to keep from me at our first interview. I held him the whole time and we sang songs, looked at his baby book, and read books. He was very quiet, but seemed to be content looking at familiar things from home.
It took quite awhile for him to come around. He seemed gone mentally. When he did finally spell a few words, he looked at me as if to say, I am being good now, can I go home. The poor child was in shock. They said he is not eating. In 20 minutes he ate 4 big pieces of my zucchini nut bread, two helpings of yogurt, 3 helpings of pureed fruit, 4 pieces of cheese, and 10 ounces of Ovaltine chocolate milk. He ate as though he hadn’t eaten in weeks, which they said he had not eaten much.
My child was in horrible condition. When we got to the room, I smelled limburger cheese; it was my son. He stunk so badly. He was filthy and his mouth smelled like a garbage can. I tried to leave his toothbrush and toothpaste, but they said he shares with other children, so I should not leave them as the other children would use it. I left a clean outfit for them to put on him. It was quite obvious that my son has not had a bath the whole time he has been there. All the other children ran up to me starved for attention, but my son just stood there like a zombie.
Parting time was worse than any hell I could ever imagine. I gave him hugs and said Mama will be back in a week. He did not cry. He simply clenched his eyes so tight he had wrinkles everywhere, clenched his teeth to the point I thought they would break, and turned his head to the side. It looked as if he was in the worst pain imaginable, as if to say, Oh God, No. I felt like dying. I handed him over, went out to the car, and cried for God to help us. It was the worst day of my life.
My son was in shock and then wondered why Mama was leaving again. He looked so bad, worst than any child I have seen starved and neglected in the Save a Child magazines from around the world. This was a nightmare. I want my son to come home. October 3, 2005 11AM, Monday Teddy Bear Shelter I arrived for my visit as scheduled rang the doorbell, and the ladies at the shelter let me in and took me to the back room with Rafe to visit. I began feeding him, and one of the girls came in and asked where Francis was. I said I did not know, weren’t they supervising the visit? They said I would have to leave or they would have to call the police. I started to call Gamila and my attorney, Casey Coughlin, to let someone know what was happening. Again the girl said, please just leave and call from outside so we don’t have to call the police.
I was in shock. I handed Rafe back over. Once again, he shut his eyes, gritted his teeth, and turned his head sideways. He cried silently. This traumatized my son even further. I said they are messing with his head; this is sadistic. The girl at the shelter answered yes they are and shook her head. When I arrived home, my attorney had left a message. She called about my visitation and about the drug tests. Caseworker Corie Adams had entered my id number incorrectly into the drug test system. If you do not drop when scheduled, you are considered positive. When I called and put in my SS# that entire week, it said invalid, so I was unable to test. Corie also left a message that she had been on vacation that week and informed me that she had put in the information wrong and it had been corrected that day.
Luckily, I paid for a comprehensive drug hair test that went back to prior CPS involvement, so I was covered that week. The results were negative, of course. Francis had left a message instructing me to come back down to the shelter for visitation that she had gotten mixed up on the times. I returned immediately to the Teddy Bear Shelter.
1215PM, Same Day When I returned, they took me to the visitation room, and Francis said sit down. I asked where Rafe was. They said he is sleeping and I could not see him now. I said then I need to leave. They said I could not leave, and I insisted that if I was not sure if my son was there, I needed to leave. I started to walk toward the door and they said I am not allowed to go that way, so I asked isn’t this the exit and began to call my attorney. They brought my son out immediately. He was completely unresponsive. They said he was sleeping. I think he was again traumatized, or drugged, as he looked very strange.
It took 20 minutes to get him to come around. I had visitation, but Francis talked the whole way through it and almost ruined the whole visitation. She continually pushed buttons about the domestic violence, and kept my son and me on edge talking about things he should not have heard and did understand. I asked her why she did not show up at court, as promised last Thursday. She said CPS, Corie Adams specifically, would not let her attend the hearing. She insisted that she would be there, as from what she saw, my son needed to come home. She said we had a very tight bond and there was no neglect or abuse, that was obvious. She never showed up to court. Once again my son smelled very badly. He did have on the outfit I brought the previous week, but it was filthy. We had a nice time reading books and playing. I fed him the same amount of food as the first visit, enough for a normal child his age for a week, and he ate it all gladly.
Again, he shut down when it was time to leave. He cried this time. I cannot take much more of this torture that my son is going through. The other children at the shelter ran right up to me for attention. My son acted extremely traumatized and was almost unreachable unlike any of the other children there who were eating and playing as if they never had it so good. My son had a cut lip and had some sort of insect bites all over his body. He looked terrible. He was swirling his tongue around, and when I asked him what that is, he got big eyes and looked over at Francis out of the corner of his eyes. I am concerned about this, as well as the condition of my son.
October 6, 2005 10am, Thursday, Teddy Bear Shelter Patty Palomera, my son’s therapist from The Blake Foundation, called me to ask me if I could take my son some clothes. She informed me that he is not doing well emotionally. I asked her if it was true what the Blake Foundation said in court about my son being unreachable and getting upset screaming for Mama to the point that he upset the other children and they could not calm him down. They strongly suggested that he see me twice a day to calm him, as it was obvious that he needed to see his Mother. She said yes it is true; he really needs me.
I asked why the guardian ad litem assigned to my son’s case said he was eating like a pig right after Blake made their report: She said it is not true. He will not eat, is inconsolable, and is emotionally gone. They are very worried about him. So I took 11 shirts, 5 shorts, 8 pairs of socks, new sneakers, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and other things (see pictures and signed list of items) into the shelter. They refused to sign, so I took them back, and then they signed the paper documenting what I had brought my son. My visit was ok. Francis was not writing anything down as before, and continually talked about negative things, as if she was now on an information gathering adventure for Corey Adams, the caseworker, and was out to ruin the visit.
I asked Rafe what he did today, and he got very big eyes, and looked over at Francis, who was on her cell phone, out of the corner of his eyes. He is afraid of something. I refused to allow her to ruin the visit, and Rafe and I had a nice time. Once again he ate like a pig. His finger nails were long and caked with mud, so I cut them with nail clippers. Once again, he had some sort of insect bites all over his body. I chased him around the room a bit, and he started laughing. The clothing exchange took 20 minutes and almost ruined the visit at the end. He cried when I left. These people are insistent on ruining our visits. My poor son. My heart is bleeding for him. He does not understand why Mama won’t take him out of there.
October 13, 2005 10am to 12pm, Thursday, McDonalds 12th and Valencia, South Tucson They moved my son to a foster home in South Tucson last Friday, so I am hoping that he is better. They said it is a wealthy family and he will get a lot of attention as he is the only child (I later found out this is all untrue). Corie Adams, the caseworker, called me and asked me if I could take in some clothes for Rafe. I asked her what happened to the bags of clothes I took in last week, as it was enough clothing for two weeks. She never answered me as usual. I arrived at my visit, and waited until 1115 am with Francis. The foster mother never showed up with Rafe. Francis told me to wait there until she found him. I refused to wait and told her to call me on the cell phone when she found out where my son was. This is complete insanity and incompetence on their part. No one knew where my son was! It took me an hour to get to the visitation.
I had to go home, another hour drive, and then drive over to meet with my attorney at 1:30. Then I had visitation rescheduled for later that day, another hour of driving to South Tucson. It took all of 8 hours to see my son, and that was because I insisted on it. The visit went ok. As usual, I took many toys. I also took his paints and markers and paper, so we could do some artwork together, as well as play dough. We played and I chased him around the play area. We had a lot of fun. The indoor playground was filthy and smelled like someone had thrown up in it recently. The bathroom was so dirty and smelled so bad that Francis refused to go in it. This is completely unbelievable!
My son has been in the worst neglect situations since CPS took him. This is the type of stuff you read about and cannot believe. My poor baby; he is so well taken care of in his own home that this is a situation he should never have been in. I took in some clothes: two pair of jeans, one nice dress outfit, two new pair of shoes, socks, a sweater, etc. (See pictures and signed list of items). I met the foster mother. She seemed nasty. I said to be careful in the one pair of shoes as he may slip. She said, “I don’t let him jump around. I make him lay on the floor. I don’t allow that.” She seemed very mean. I gave her a dozen potty diapers and she replied that he is not potty trained. I informed her that he was almost potty trained by the first of September. I put my son in the foster mother’s car, gave him a big truck from home, and then hugged and kissed him and said good-bye.
October 18 and 20, 2005, Tuesday and Thursday 9 – 10 AM, McDonalds, South Tucson This week’s visits went by with no problems. We had a wonderful time together. As always, I took many toys and activities, as well as a variety of foods for Rafe. On Thursday the 20th, the foster mother arrived before Francis and brought Rafe in. She told me he is constipated and has not gone to the bathroom for over a week now. She said she gives him raisins, but it does not help. I told her he usually poops twice a day. I tried to help by telling her he does not like raisins, and that she should try to give him blueberries, strawberries, bananas, and apples. She looked at me as though that would cost too much and shrugged her shoulders. I tried to make suggestions for his diet to help her. I also noticed during the past couple of visits that he seemed dehydrated and had an abnormally dry diaper, even after drinking all the liquids I took to the visit for him. I asked her to please make sure he gets plenty of water.
She just looked at me. She also informed me that he is seeing his father for 3 days, and that when she says we are going to see Dad, Rafe says, “No, Mama, Mama” and becomes disappointed that I am not there. Francis said he is not seeing his Father. I found out later that this is also a lie. Francis seems obsessed with my son’s Father, always asking about his money, etc. I walk Rafe out and it seems to help, until I walk away from the car. He makes a bit of a face and turns his head. I was shocked at the condition of the car seat. All the buckles were broken to the point that the straps were just laying over him and it was not attached to the seat properly. I informed Francis that if she put her brakes on at all, my son would get seriously injured. It was merely there for appearances, and was more unsafe than no car seat at all I informed Francis that this is unacceptable, and in violation of car seat laws.
During the visit, my son said “it hurts.” He will not say anymore than that, just looks over at the caseworker and says no more. He has done this every week that I have seen him. He put his finger in his nose. I looked and there was dried blood in his nose. My son does not have allergies, so where did the dried blood come from.
October 25, 2005, Tuesday, 9-10 AM, McDonalds, South Tucson Francis informed me last week that we needed to cancel one visit or change the visitation times this week. I arrived at the McDonalds in South Tucson with lunch and many toys and activities for my son and I to enjoy together. When I saw my son, I was shocked. He had two head injuries, one on each side of his forehead. The one on the right side was older, as it was disappearing, and the one on his left forehead was still black and blue. His left inner eyelid, the tender pink part, was freshly scratched. He also had hay-like scratch marks on his face. In addition to all of this, he had deep cuts on his right shin. I asked Francis what had happened and whether there were any doctor reports. She offered no answer, as usual. I asked my son what happened and he responded “it hurts.” He then took all his Winnie the Pooh characters and dropped them one by one on the floor. (I have video of this.) I said you will hurt them, and he giggled nervously. He said again, “it hurts Mama.” This aggressive behavior is unlike my son. He is trying to act out what happened with his Winnie the Pooh characters. My son also seemed very camera shy, and lay down in a strange position when I got the camera out. I am quite sure he is playing charades. Other than this, we had a wonderful visit, as usual. We are both happy for the time we spend together. Conversation with Emmanuel Vergara, Caseworker, regarding the injuries When I inquired about the injuries to Emmanuel, he replied that the foster dad said he gets mad and bangs his head on the ground. I asked if he was taken to the doctor for the head injuries or the deep cuts n his leg. Emmanuel did not answer. I asked if my son had a bed he was sleeping on. The cuts looked a bit suspicious, unlike scrapes from falling. Again, no answer.
The following day, October 26, 2005, the foster mother arrived before Francis. I asked her about the bruises from the previous day. She answered that he fell off of his bike. This is in conflict with what the foster dad allegedly told the caseworker, that he bangs his head on the ground. I am sure neither of these stories is true. There are too many inconsistencies. My attorney said there is nothing we can do. I am considering calling the abuse hotline number. I expressed my concern to both Emmanuel Vergara as well as Marion Baley, the supervising caseworker. I left many messages on the phone. I have also given pictures to my attorney for the record. October 26, 2005, Wednesday, 8–9 am, McDonalds, South Tucson I arrived at the visit with my usual load of food and activities for my son. The foster mother arrived before Francis. She said, “Oh look, I have to show you what happened. He fell again and hit his head. It covered the one from yesterday. I raised 16 children and they jump. It is normal.” I replied that is strange, that is why you have him. I asked her how it happened and she stated the previous ones happened when he fell off of his bike, and this one he fell off toys and stuff. I thought to myself, stuff? This is inconsistent with what the caseworker, Emmanuel Vergara, told me when he said my son was allegedly banging his head on the floor, according to the foster father. Francis then arrived and she and the foster mother went outside to talk a few minutes. I was instructed to stay inside the McDonalds. I was very concerned about this head injury, as it was a serious bump that it required an MRI, especially since it was the third injury that I saw in 2 days. I asked Francis about it and she said that “Dad had visited on Friday, and now Rafe was getting many bruises.” During the visit, when I discussed the bruises with Francis, she slipped and said, “When he is at my house …I mean at the foster mothers house….” I took note of that comment. I took pictures of the bruises, as always, and I then took copies to my attorney. She was not in. I called more than once that day, and was told there was nothing we could do. I want to know why my son is getting so many head injuries, cuts, etc, and no one is taking him to the doctor. This needs medical attention, at least.
October 26, 2005, 11 AM, Meeting with CPS at East Broadway office At 11 AM I had a meeting at the CPS office at 6840 East Broadway. I met with Emmanuel Vergara, current caseworker, Marion Baley, supervising caseworker, and Rosemary Jackson, newly assigned visitation supervisor. I discussed the enormous amount of head injuries, cuts, and bruises that my son has sustained in the past week. They responded it is normal. I replied that this many injuries is not normal, and only seems to happen when you are involved. I then asked why he isn’t returned to his own home. They informed me that my attorney has to make that motion. They asked me why I took him so often to the doctor. I replied when a child falls or is sick with a fever, you are supposed to take him to the doctor. I demanded, once again, to see doctor reports for these injuries. Again, I received no response to this question. We then discussed my new visitation, which I would be allowed to have at a park, so my son and I could practice our normal routine.
We discussed therapy for domestic violence and parenting at Reflections Clinic. I informed them that I had already participated in both types of counseling here in Tucson. Other than that, nothing was resolved about neither my son’s injuries nor moving him to another home or to his own home. On the evening of October 30th, I called the Tucson Police Department to do an emergency check on my son. They were willing, but were unable to perform the request, as I did not have and address for the foster home that my son is located at. I had a horrible week-end worrying about him.
November 2, 2005, Wednesday, 10am-12pm, Kennedy Park, South Tucson Today I had a wonderful visit with my son under the supervision of Rosemary Jackson. We met at the park, and I took enough toys for a week. I took his scooter, his big truck, art activities, many tractors and trucks, books, enough to fill the vehicle. I was so excited to be able to visit with my son in the park. We had so much fun being outside, as this is our usual routine at home. My son seemed afraid of the playground, as if he was not allowed to play. I had to encourage him to go down the slide and climb up the play apparatus. I found this strange, especially since he has done these things daily since he was only one year old. But, I was so happy to see him and play with him that I didn’t mind. After some encouragement, he joined right in with Mama, as always. More importantly, he did not have any new injuries that I could see, so I was happy about that. His right forehead was black and blue from the head injury last week that needed an MRI, but other than that, he seemed fine. He was happy to be at the park with Mama once again. I guess he is in daycare now, in a private home allegedly, according to Rosemary Jackson, the new visitation supervisor. I am sure he was previously, since the foster mother slipped at McDonalds and said she took him to the babysitter. He looked better, but has no interest at all in books or spelling. He seems more excited to see his toys and play. I guess I shouldn't worry, but I was trying to encourage a boy who would not want to party but would like reading, etc. All his abilities that he learned in his first 3 years with Mama seem a waste now.
It is sad. He probably does not have any toys. I asked where the big truck Mama sent with him. He looked down sadly. The foster parents probably sold it. It is strange that I took a couple of toys and 3 bags of clothing and they are all gone. The goodbyes tear my heart as well as my son’s. He gets this sad look as if he wonders what he did wrong. When she pulled up in the car, he had a huge smile and was kicking excitedly when he saw me. I was crying and said Mama loves you. Lately, he won't look me in eye or sing; he is too interested in playing. I guess in time we will get over that. When he comes home, I want to hold him more than I did before. I said, it’s ok Rafe, Mama loves you, and Mama wants you to come home to Rafe’s house. The supervisor, Rosemary Jackson, told me not to say that as they don't understand and it upsets them as they have no idea of time. I informed her that I want him to understand that he still has a home and that Mama does want him. She said don't say that or you will get corrected. I put my son in her car, hugged him, and walked away.
November 9, 2005, Wednesday, 10AM-12PM, Kennedy Park, South Tucson I had visitation today at Kennedy Park on Mission and Ajo with my son, supervised by Rosemary Jackson. I always arrive early to set up our play area before meeting my son. When they arrived, I saw him through their vehicle window looking all around, knowing Mama is there somewhere waiting for him. It brings tears to my eyes and rips my heart wide open. When I got to the car, he was kicking his legs excited to see me. He practically jumped out of the car seat. We went to the play area, and the first thing I did is feed him, as I know he is not eating very nutritious foods or the foods he is accustomed to eating. He usually eats fast as if he cannot get enough of what Mama offers him to eat. He seemed excited to see his own things that Mama brought to play with. We painted and read books and colored with markers. I also put stickers on his shirt. He politely gave them back to me, sticking them all over me as though they will disappear with him. This was strange. We used ink pads and stamps to make prints on the paper. He has always loved this, as he remembers Mama doing it in his scrapbook/baby book. I brought ink stamps with pictures of all the things he was able to spell at 18months…bird, sun, frog, etc. I made streets in the dirt with a shovel so we could play with all of his trucks and tractors like we do at home. We make buildings out of the dirt and I try to make familiar places, such as Toys R Us, the balloon store, and the like. He always gets a sad, bittersweet look, as if wondering why Mama doesn’t take him there anymore. I took him to the playground to slide and walk across the play bridge as we have done since he was barely walking. He seemed afraid, as though he gets into trouble for it. After a little while, with encouragement, we play together as we always did, with Mama hiding and chasing him around on the activities. I noticed stitches on his right eyebrow. Rosemary, the supervisor, said the other visitation supervisor, Francis, said that it happened at the visit with his Father. She said another little boy and my son collided and he got cut with a small toy car. I also noticed what looked like a healed black and blue fingerprints on the left side of his face and choke marks on the right side of his neck. The vein on the right side of his neck was also a bit puffed up and black and blue. I have never seen so many marks on my son. I tried to touch his neck and he flinched away, and said it hurts. I asked the caseworker and my attorney why there are no doctor reports.
So far in only 3 weeks my son has had 4 injuries to his head (one which should have had an MRI), deep cuts on his leg, choke marks, and marks on his cheek that appear to be fading slap marks, and scratches on his inner eye, along with other scratches.. Usually they say he was at daycare or at visitation with his Father earlier that week. I don’t know what to believe, although I know the sound of his Father’s voice makes him nervous. I question every time why my son is not home with me. They answer he had injuries at home too. Then why isn’t he home! My reply is the same; not this many and not these types of injuries. Either way, this invalidates their claims. There have been too many strange injuries in a short period of time. I suspect the doctor reports would show something, especially by my son’s reactions to my questions about what happened, and that is why he has not visited the doctor. As he was playing with his truck on the curb that goes around the play area, a large Hispanic man walked by with his kid. Three times when my son saw him, he immediately very quickly sat down as if he was going to be punished for not sitting still. Upon observing this behavior the third time, I said Rafe, you don’t have to sit down, and he looked apprehensively at the man. I am sure that someone is making my son fearful of playing. I brought a foil balloon for him on the way, but as the supervisor was talking to me, he let it go, and up in the air it went. So, I took pictures of the injuries without the balloon. Then I got a pump and funny balloons out of my bag of tricks and we played with them. I danced with my son, as I have done since he was born, and sang the songs we have always sung together, the songs he knows as I have sung them to him since before he was born. He held me tightly. We got on the swing, and as usual, as I pushed him, he said Mama swing red one. So I got onto the other swing and swung with him. He seems to be losing interest in his favorite activities.
When no one is close he seems to immediately warm up to his favorite things. He is not the same spirited boy he was only a couple of months ago. He seems shut down, but excited to see Mama, confused and tormented. When it was time to go, I held him tight. He grabbed onto me. As she took him away, he looked at me as though he did something wrong. Why Mama? Don’t you love me? I walked away sobbing. When I tried to tell him, Rafe will be at Rafe’s house soon, Rosemary said, “Don’t tell him that!” I later called my attorney, Casey Coughlin, and she said there is nothing we can do. She suggested I call the hotline and report the abuse. I called today, Wednesday November 9th, 2005 and the man said he would put in for a foster care review. I told him the story and he suggested I also put one in on the previous daycare.
November 9, 2005, Wednesday and November 11, 2005, Friday; Abuse Hotline Reports I called the abuse hotline on November 9th after complaining and taking pictures into my attorney who continually stated that there is nothing that can be done as I can feel that something is wrong. She finally agreed that I should call them, saying there was nothing she could do. CPS informs me that he is home with a nice family, but the visitation supervisors, as well as the foster mother, have told me he is in a private home daycare. I wonder which is true. The gentleman said he would put in a foster care review report. Again, on Friday the 11th I spoke with Barbara Dean at the abuse hotline, who said she would have the night time investigator check into it if at all possible, as they were on a short staff for the holidays. She also informed me that he was taken to the hospital for stitches on November 7th, but no record of doctor visits for the previous 3 head injuries. November 14, 2005 Conversation with Emmanuel Vergara, Regarding Injuries I informed Emmanuel about the choke-like bruises to the right side of his neck, stitches on his eyebrow, and handprint bruises to the left side of his face.
Emmanuel didn’t say anything, as usual, wanting me to talk. Finally he said he falls all the time, like with you. I informed him that he NEVER had 4 head injuries, choke marks, deep cuts on his legs, etc within 3 weeks at my house. I demanded that he check out the foster home to see what was going on. He said he would call them. I advised that it is not a good idea to call making accusations of abuse, because that would only make things worse for my child. He needed to go and visit them to investigate what was going on. I asked what type of bed my son sleeps in. Emmanuel said, “Uh, uh, a bed”. I asked what it looked like, was it a crib with rails, and he was unable to give details. It was more than obvious that he had never seen his bed, if one exists. Finally, he said it was a bed, a normal bed, but “they said he sleeps on the floor.” My son is used to comfort; he would never sleep on the floor. I insisted that he go and do a surprise visit, and that he needed to look into this. As usual, he is doing nothing about it, and has no interest in doing his job. In addition, I asked for doctors reports for all the injuries. He did not answer. To date, I have received none. This concerns me even more, as I suspect there are not reports, because my suspicions of abuse are true.
November 16, 2005, Wednesday, 10AM–12PM, Kennedy Park, South Tucson We met at our usual place, Kennedy Park, with Rafe arriving with the visitation supervisor, Rosemary Jackson at 10 AM. With each visit my son is becoming more distant While he used to cry and look back at me as if to say, Mama don’t you want me to come home, now he seems to have given up hope. Mama must not want him. He shows me his injuries as if to say help me Mama and I smile and hand him back over. If I cry, they will write something down negative, so I fake it. My poor son; he wonders why Mama won’t help him or take him home. They take his hand and lead him away like baggage. It is very sad. He does kick his feet when he sees me, as if hoping this time will be different. He almost seems afraid to show any emotion, especially when others are near. He acts very quiet. I no longer know my own son, no matter what I do, his beautiful spirit is lost. With all the unusual injuries and his behavior, I am more than concerned for his well-being. This is much like his behavior during the last month of daycare when I was considering pulling him out, only more intense. I have expressed my concerns many times to my attorney and the caseworkers as well as to the abuse hotline, but it seems to only get worse for my son with each complaint that I make. As usual, I brought a vehicle full of toys and activities: paints, crayons and markers, dump trucks, tractors, cars, a mini piano, and many of his favorite books.
He seems hyper, going from one to the other. It is as though he hasn’t seen this many toys, if any at all, in quite some time or is very nervous as he had been acting the last month of daycare. I do know that once again my son is trying to tell me something. His favorite activity today was simply having Mama chase him around as he ran with his favorite big dump truck, as if he wanted us to find our own space alone. The first month, he enjoyed reading his books and looking at his photo album and painting, things familiar to him. With each visit, and each fearful look at the supervisor, he slowly has lost interest in his favorite activities or is trying to hide the pain, like a bittersweet memory of times past. This visit he had no interest in any art activities or reading. This hurts me, as I have always encouraged a deep love of reading in my son. He counted to 50 and read simple level 1 books by his 3rd birthday, just two months ago. I was so proud of what we had accomplished together. Now he has lost that ability and has no interest in books at all. I spread his toys in various areas around the park, with the books away from the supervisor. When I get us in our own space, away from her, he seems to want to try to read again. When she came and sat one foot away from us, he shut down. Her excuse was she “wanted to hear what I was saying to him”.
I said we are spelling, see cat, c-a-t. My son seems to be afraid to do the things that he is used to doing, his favorite activities that he and Mama have shared for 3 years, as though he is being punished for his abilities. It is almost as if they are sitting next to us taking notes for the purpose of making sure he is no longer able to do those things, to invalidate both my claims, as well as the Blake Foundations claims, that he really did read books and spell like a 6 year old. Everyone who used to witness his abilities were amazed at how advanced he was, and asked me how I did it. I loved teaching my son through play, encouraging him love the arts, reading, and classical music. We had quite a bond; we were inseparable. Immediately upon arrival, I made sure my son had some of the food I brought, as I can tell from his skin tone and the way he inhaled his food in the past months that he is not getting very nutritional food or being fed the way he is accustomed to. I spend $50 on fresh fruits alone for my son to ensure that he receives the right vitamins, antioxidants, minerals, etc. while providing him with the foods he has grown to love I gave him his fruit mixed with yogurt, as well as some chocolate milk. Then we began to play, with Mama chasing him as he pushed his big dump truck around the park. He is afraid of the slide and the activities that he has always loved at the park. I have to encourage him by saying Mama said it is ok. It is obvious that he is not allowed to play like a normal boy anymore. Around 11:00 AM, I noticed that it hurt him when I picked him up. I didn’t notice the usual head injuries, marks on his neck, or deep cuts on his legs, so I wondered what was hurting him. I noticed that he had 2 shirts on this day, so I lifted the shirts up, with my son gladly assisting me, as if to say look Mama what happened. I was sickened by the large scrapes with a small puncture on the left side of his stomach. I asked what is that, did you fall. He looked out of the corner of his eye at the supervisor and would not talk. She was not very close at the time, but enough for him to see her (about 25 feet away). I asked Rosemary what happened and she said the foster Mother said he fell again at daycare.
He is allegedly in a private home daycare, although I was told by the caseworker Emmanuel Vergara that he is home with the foster parents all day. What is the truth, only they know, since I get a different story from each CPS worker that I ask. I then continued playing with my son, trying to get him to read, but he was more interested in running further away from that area with his truck as Mama chased him. I am sure he is trying to get more time alone with just me. I had to continually point him back closer to the area of our toys and the supervisor, Rosemary. Next we went near the swings, and I took a stick and started writing words in the sand. My son could still spell a few words when no one was close. This is again telling me something. Finally, I took him to his favorite activity at the park, the swing. Since he was 7 months old, we went to the park at least twice a day, and he has always loved the swing and the slides. He swung a few minutes and then said No, as if he is not allowed to swing. I tried to pick him up to swing on Mama’s lap and sing, as we always had, and he threw a fit. He began kicking and screaming. I almost dropped him and had to get quickly off the swing and lay him on the ground as he nearly dove off my lap. This was very strange. My son was terrified of his favorite activity at the park. He yelled, “No, No!” I asked him if he wanted to sit on the swing and he continued to say “No, No”. It hit me what he was trying to say to me, once again, my son was trying to communicate something to me. I asked is the swing like a chair? Do you want to sit in the chair? He became hysterical. I remembered observing the week prior that every time this man at the park walked by my son, he immediately sat down, looking up at the man fearfully, as if someone is forcing him to sit. Now I was wondering if the chair was a means of punishment, because of my son’s intense reactions to the swing being a chair. I ran to get my camera, hoping to get it on tape.
At that point, it was now about 11:20 AM, I wondered why my son had not taken his shoes off at the park, as he has always done since he was not quite 2 years old. He loves running barefoot in the play areas, as do all the children. I asked him if he wanted to take off his shoes, and he yelled, “No. It hurts!” At first I thought he was just being strange, so I tried again. He was hysterical, terrified of something. I knew something was wrong with his feet. I asked if he would like to sit in the chair and take his shoes off, and he became completely hysterical, throwing himself on the ground. This reminded me of how he began acting in the daycare parking lot when I was thinking to remove him around the time of his 3rd birthday, August 24th, of this year. I knew something was wrong. The previous week, Rosemary had made comments about his shoes being off to me. Again I got the camera. My son threw himself around in the dirt for about 5 minutes, until I said no more about the shoes or the chair/swing. I hated to keep on it, but I wanted to know what was wrong. I noticed a blister-like bruise on his one foot, but never got the other shoe off to check it, because he was throwing a fit and the supervisor stopped me and called the caseworker to come to the visit. Another concern I had was that while he was crying “No” and pouting and screaming he said to me twice, it is purple, it hurts as he cupped his hands near his genital area. I decided to get him to go potty. He was nearly potty trained by his birthday. I brought his own potty from home to the park today, hoping I could get him to go. He seems very dehydrated for the past two months, so I always bring water and chocolate Ovaltine milk. He said yes potty. Then I put my hands on his pants to take them off, and again he threw a fit and said it’s purple, it hurts. Rosemary came over and said maybe he does not want to go. I told her he said potty. When she returned to her seat further away, my son took a truck and said Nana, which is what he calls his foster mother. I know he is trying to tell me something, but does not have the words. Someone is hurting him; I am very sure about that. My heart is broken, because my son has been trying to tell me something since his birthday, and at that time, I did not respond. Now I am unable to help him. I can no longer protect my son. No wonder he is losing trust in me. We are inseparable, and my son is wondering why Mama is not taking him home or helping him. At that time Emmanuel Vergara, the caseworker showed up. He was told about the injury, but as usual, did nothing. He did not even look at it. The visitation then ended. They took my son away like baggage, him tagging along with the balloon Mama had bought him, like a lost unwanted puppy. My heart is broken, as I am unable to help my beautiful son. To date there are pictures to back up this documentation. I am sure that will change, and they will not allow me to take more pictures.
November 23, 2005, Wednesday, 10-12 Kennedy Park, South Tucson I arrived at the park with my usual abundance of activities. I baked zucchini- banana-nut bread for Rafe, his favorite treat of Mama’s. I also took yogurt, fruit, oatmeal, grapes, chocolate milk, and bottled water. Rosemary and Emmanuel were both there for the visit today. I noticed some new injuries on Rafe’s abdomen, in the same areas as past injuries, but since Emmanuel was also present and they were not serious, I decided not to get the camera out and start any commotion. He had more large scrapes to his abdomen, center, just above the belly button. The injury on his left abdomen from last week was scabbed over, but still present. He also had small scabs, about the size of mosquito bites on his left neck and jawbone area, but they were not bites, some sort of injury, but I am not sure what. They were scabbed over. I took him from Rosemary’s car over to the play area. I danced with my son and sang him our songs for about 10 minutes. He laid his head on my shoulder, happy to be in Mama’s arms. He was acting normal, for once. He held me tight as if to hope this would all go away, the same thing I was feeling. He seemed more comfortable when I turned in a direction that he could not see the caseworker and supervisor. Then we read books, also able to spell a little more but not like his old self, mostly when I turned us in a direction that he forgot they were there watching. He spelled more words at age 2 than he does now in their custody. This worries me, as it seems like such a waste. I can only hope to get him back soon, so he can read books and do more educational activities that he enjoys. We looked at one of his photo albums; he seemed to enjoy that. Getting into his photo albums was one of his favorite activities at home, and he seemed to enjoy looking through them today. When we read through to the page with his cat’s photos, he lost interest and went to play. This is sad for him, as he misses his home and his pets. We played in the sand, and I chased him around the park with his truck. We also swung on the swings; his fear from the previous week was gone. We went to the playground area. He had a fear of the tunnel slides. I found this strange, because the slides he played on at Oro Valley Park at less than one year of age were tunnel slides, and he still loves them. Usually I chase him up the tunnel slide, but today, he would not go into them. Another thing I noticed was that he didn’t seem to be able to hear well. I snapped my fingers by his head to see if he would turn. I am not sure if he heard the snap, or saw my hand there. I asked if his ears hurt. He did not answer. He gets ear infections when around water and has had tubes in his ears since his first birthday. One behavior was very strange; it was the same as I noticed last week. When I asked if he had to go potty, he said yes, potty. However, as soon as I took a hold of his pants, he cried fearfully, “No, hold it. It hurts. No.”
I suspect sexual abuse. Today, he pooped for the first time and I changed his diaper. The foster Mother told me back in October that he did not poop for 2 weeks. I wonder if someone is trying to force him to potty train (he was mostly trained by September 1st but has regressed) by holding it and not letting him go. He seems afraid to let anyone take off his clothes. Over all, we had a beautiful visit. It was time to go and I put him in Rosemary’s car. The car seat was not in properly, so she tried to help me put it in right. It was not, but better than Francis’ car seat with all the broken buckles. I decided not to make too much of a stink. He must have thought I was getting in too, because he turned his head when I said good-bye. When she turned on the car, I noticed the music was a bit loud, she immediately turned it down, and I wondered about his hearing. I was happy to have my visit today. Rafe acted a bit more like himself. I wish he could come home. I miss him and worry about him every minute of the day.
November 30, 2005, Wednesday After the mediation hearing, Emmanuel told me my visit was changed as the Father would see Rafe. It was rescheduled for Friday December 2 at the Park Mall. December 2, 2005, Friday, 10 AM to 12 PM, Park Mall Play Area I arrived early to set up Rafe’s toys and play area in the food court area. I brought books, a sketcher to draw on, some of Rafe’s Thomas the Train pieces and track, and matchboxes as well as food: tuna and egg salad, yogurt, bananas, pears, chocolate milk, and homemade banana nut bread. Rosemary Jackson, the visitation supervisor, was late with Rafe and I began to worry, so I left messages on both her and Emmanuel Vergara’s, the caseworker, answering machines at work. She arrived at 10:15. Rosemary tried to head toward the play area, but I directed us to the tables I had set up all of his toys. I want to spend time with my son, not watch other children play. There is plenty of time for that. Rafe played with his sketcher and we drew snowmen and trees. He also played with his wooden train set, as well as his matchboxes. Then he found the oversized super ball that we had bought at the zoo. He began throwing it around watching it bounce this way and that. Rosemary informed me that he should not throw it down the aisle as someone may trip over it. I said we were in the mall and no one was really around at this time when he did it. We wanted to play. I tried to get my son to throw it to me and stay closer to the play area I had set up, but the ball was very bouncy so it went this way and that. Finally I had him put it back in the bag. He enjoyed himself while it lasted. Then we went to the play area awhile and he ran around. I lay down next to him on top one of the apparatuses. He seemed to enjoy being next to Mama. After jumping off one of the climbing apparatuses and Mama catching him, we went back over to the tables I had set up with toys. We played awhile longer and Rafe finished eating his lunch.
At this time he was a bit wiggly, so I asked him if he wanted to go potty. I am getting very concerned about him not going t the bathroom as before, but especially about his not wanting to take off his pants. He said potty and we headed toward the bathroom. He seemed anxious to go. When we got inside, this is when my previous suspicions were confirmed. He seemed anxious to go potty, so I tried to pull down his pants. He said no, and threw himself on the floor. Rosemary snapped at me, as usual, that he does not have to go so let him alone. I informed her he does have to go, but is afraid to take off his pants. I shut the door to the stall to give him privacy. He threw himself on the floor. Then he began acting out for Mama what was happening to him. He knelt on his knees in a praying position. He pulled up his shirt and shyly began caressing his legs and tummy. He caressed himself up one leg and down the other, ever so gently. Then his tummy. He then moved to his genital area, and I had had enough. It reminded me of a pose in Playboy magazine. It was obvious that he was being taught this. It was very professional looking. This was appalling. He used to love the camera, but I have noticed that since October, he poses lying down, but shyly, not really acting normal in front of the camera as he used to. This was appalling. It was so obvious to me why my son will not go to the bathroom and does not like to have his pants taken off. This is exactly what I thought the previous month, that my son was being sexually abused. I could not let my emotions show as the caseworkers always twist that you show emotions, so I calmly took him out of the bathroom. He never went potty. Now I remembered the foster Mother saying at McDonalds that he did not poop for over two weeks. I thought it was his diet, but now I am wondering. Just two weeks ago at the park visit, when he threw a fit about the swing and his shoes, he had been saying no it hurts, its purple and cupping his hand at his genital area.
He also said, “No, hold it.” I suspected abuse, but now I am sure that it is more than what I suspected. It is obvious that at some point he was purple down there, as he tried to tell me a few weeks ago. They are making him hold his urine and poop, for some reason. These people need to be arrested. I don’t know what to do for my son. Conversation with Emmanuel Vergara, Friday December 02, 2005 after 4 PM Emmanuel called later and told me that they had moved him to Casas de los Niño’s at the request of placement. So, now they have used my son and do not want him anymore. I wonder if it was the foster parents or the in-home daycare he was at, if it was a daycare at all.
My son seems afraid of Rosemary Jackson, the visitation supervisor. I remember when I put him in the car after our visit at Kennedy Park, and when she started her SUV, the music was very loud. I have warned CPS on a couple of occasions that my son has tubes in his ears due to recurrent ear infections. The ear tubes amplify noise. Is that why he is unable to talk? Are they traumatizing him with loud music? I am wondering if they put him in Casas, or are lying, as they always do. I hope my son is there and is safe. I want him to come home with me. They said he is self-mutilating. I know my son would not do that, they are hurting him. If he is acting out, I can see why. Emmanuel set up my visitation right before the court hearing on Tuesday. He said I will have 2 per week now at Casas de los Niño’s, where they allegedly moved him to on Thursday or Friday (the caseworker said Friday, but the GAL, Margo Donaldson’s, email said Thursday night). I informed him visitation Tuesday morning 830 to 930 AM will not give me time to make it to the hearing at 1015 am in south Tucson Juvenile Court. He said he will talk to Rosemary and call me on Monday. I informed Emmanuel of the suspected sexual abuse, and dictated the story on the phone that I have documented here. He said he needs a neurological. I said he had one. He said “Huh?”, so obviously the doctor lied and did not tell him the neurological showed no abnormalities as far as abuse or CPS failed to disclose the neurological that I had done. This is part of my evidence for my rebuttal. I am sure now they will come up with another excuse to keep him in their custody. Phone call to Casas de los Niño’s,
Sunday December 4th, 2005, late morning I called to check on my son in the late morning, as I did on Friday. They cannot tell me if he is there. I expressed my concerns about sexual abuse as well as physical abuse, and related a bit of the story about how he is allegedly self- mutilating. I informed them that this is incorrect, and related some of the abuse stories I have witnessed to them. The lady suggested that I call the social worker at Casas to tell her this information at 830 AM on Monday when they are open. Her name is Robin Gerard, extension 209. I am worried that my son is not even placed at Casas de los Niño’s, and they are simply setting up visitation there. This will not be the first time they have lied to me. They were unable to confirm that Rafe was there until they got permission from CPS. The foster family allegedly lives at 1551 West Joyce Lou Drive in South Tucson. I was told they live one hour out of Tucson, but when I received the doctor report from November 1st, it has this address. When the alleged foster mother dropped him off at McDonald’s visitation in October, her name is Bertha. Yet when I look up that address on the internet it is Martha, not Bertha. In addition, her car license plate ends in RCL. I saw Francis the visitation supervisor drop my son off at Santa Maria Drive in South Tucson. When I go by that house now, the little red car, license plate 146 (or 126) RCL, is parked in front of 726 West Santa Maria. If that is the foster mother, she lives at 1551 W. Joyce Lou Drive, so is she the babysitter, or is the address false? Either way, something is wrong. I don’t know where my son is and they are lying about his location to doctors, etc. Why is that? -1551 West Joyce Lou Drive shows a William Nogales living there -726 West Santa Maria shows a Martha Ruiz living there. I don’t know who these people really are, but something is wrong. In October, Francis Caccovale, the original visitation supervisor, slipped and said when he comes to my house, I mean the foster house. Due to all of this, it is difficult to tell who is abusing him. This is what my research says the typical scenario is for abuse in state custody. The police cannot even sort it out, due to lack of information. Police Report
December 4th, 2005 After talking briefly with a patrol car on Sunday 12-04-05, he suggested that I contact 911 and they will send an officer who will fill out a report and possibly refer it to the sex crimes unit. I called at 155 PM on Sunday 12-04-05. They informed me an officer would contact me next week at my home number. The report Number for this initial call is #0512040549 December 06, 2005, Tuesday Officer Honk #10688 left a card on my door to call him. I called and he instructed me to call again to get another officer as he was on his way to court. Officer Aycock # 31043 arrived and took a report of the injuries to my son. Report # is 0512060362. He took a history and noted the injuries to my son.
December 6, 2005, Tuesday, 8 – 9 am, Casas de los Niño’s I arrived to visit my son before going to court. He was clean and dressed nicely in jeans and a grey sweatshirt. I noticed that his fingernails had been cut. I was happy to see that he was finally being taken care of; and for the first time since he left in September, he was not being neglected and abused. He seemed a bit confused, probably since he was moved and wanted to see Mama. I was happy to see the play area for visitation. It had toys, books, a changing area, and a fish tank. The only think I noticed was that he was limping badly. They informed me that CPS said he was not up to date on his shots, so they had given him 5 shots. I spoke with Robin Gerard, the social worker on the case at Casas and offered to take them a copy of his immunization record and she agreed that would be helpful. I took the immunization records in on Thursday December 8th. I knew my son was up to date and beyond his shots, so I didn’t want any more unnecessary trauma. In addition, vaccinations have been linked to other problems, such as autism. I am concerned about over vaccination that has occurred due to CPS’s misinformation. All in all we had a nice visit. He seemed better taken care of now, and that was my main concern. They said he did not need a toothbrush, grooming items, or clothes, as they had all he needed. They did say he could use a coat or shoes, and I offered to bring them in. At that point Rosemary Jackson, the visitation supervisor whom my son is afraid of, looked at her with this horrible look, and the aid at Casas said he did not need a coat. It seems Rosemary refuses to allow me help my child, nor give him any items to increase his comfort level. She did the same thing when I first arrived. I was told by both Rosemary Jackson and Emmanuel Vergara that I am not allowed to take anything into Casas. I took food, a pillow, and his favorite stuffed animal, just in case, so they could not later document that Mother did not bring appropriate items needed. When I arrived, the lady said I could take things in but would not get them back as they would get mixed in with other items. She did say I could take in things to visits and then take them with me. Again, Rosemary hissed at her. I could see her jumping around off to the side behind me shaking her head. This woman is the meanest person I ever met. She should not be working with children. I remember when I tried to give my son a Nutragrain bar upon leaving a visit at Kennedy Park (I think it was the second visit at the park), and she replied, “I don’t want crumbs all over my car”. She is very cruel. My son is terrified of her. My son was still afraid to go down the small slide in the visitation area (it was only about 3 feet high). I found this strange, as he has always enjoyed the big slides at the park, as the other children do. He got to the top, but when I tried to coax him to put the tractor down, he hesitated. I asked him to do down the slide, and he sat at the top for quite some time, looking out of the corner of his eye at Rosemary. Then he almost lay down, and in his mind he was remembering something negative. I could see it in his eyes. I told him it was ok now. He did not slide. He also said no when I asked if he wanted to go potty. This is strange as he was all but potty trained when they removed him. I am sure something happened to him in their care when he went to go potty and that they used a chair as punishment as I documented previously. He has acted this out more than once for me. He still seemed distant. His favorite activity today was running from Mama with the fire truck as I chased him with the lawnmower like he used to have at home. He would run into the corner, turn his back on Rosemary, and then I went up and kissed and tickled his neck. He giggled and laughed happily.
December 9, 2205 Friday, 11-12 AM, Casas de los Niño’s I arrived at my visit. I was told I would have a new visitation supervisor from the Beacon Group. Her name was Shirley Schindel. When I arrived, I was surprised to see Rosemary there again. The lady at Casas asked if we should go outside to the play area. Rosemary gave her “the look” and said no, inside. She said to the play area. I had already been waiting for 10 minutes. I went outside to make a phone call to someone for documentation purposes. When I came back in, Rosemary left. After what seemed eternity, they finally brought Rafe. I wonder if he is there, or if Rosemary Jackson or someone else is transporting him to Casas for our visit. I asked if we could sit on the couch next to the play area, so I could read books to him. They agreed. This is how I could tell if he was any better. He was able to spell from memory some of the words he used to spell, and seemed more of his old self. After a while, he told me he wanted to play, so we moved over to the play area. We had a nice visit. He was better able to communicate more like the Rafe I knew and some of his fear was gone. He also went down the slide with no fear. I had to go first. I clapped and told him good boy, its ok. It was now more than obvious to me that he was afraid of Rosemary. With her gone, Rafe acted happy and had no fear. The only thing that was still strange was that he said “NO” and turned his back and walked away when I asked if he would like to go potty. I told him its ok, Rafe. In addition, he raised the sleeve on his shirt as if to tell me to look. I did not want to probe in front of the new supervisor, but now I wish I had looked. Maybe his arm was bruised, especially if he is not actually at Casas as I fear. He may have had more immunizations that are not needed. They have told so many different versions of how he received bruises, when he was moved, and concealed evidence in my favor that I do not believe anything they say. They do not actually let me know his location, and that is suspicious enough. I decided that with everything that has happened to him in CPS custody, and with the way things have gone in court with my attorney’s resistance to do anything; I had better stop hiding my emotions to my son. He thinks Mama does not want him, especially after he showed my all the abuse in their custody and I handed him back over to them with no tears. I held him tight and cried, as did he, and told him it is not Mama, that Mama loves and misses him and wants him to come home. I am sure that will be misconstrued in the notes, but my son has the right to know that Mama is not handing him over to be harmed because she wants to. My son finally showed emotion today. He was talking and seemed happier. That is a good sign. I am very worried that he is not indeed there all day and night, as they say. He asked me for water and chocolate milk, and I am not allowed to take anything for him. That is sad. My son does not understand. Mama has always met his wants and needs. I see him again next Tuesday.
December 13, 2005 Tuesday, 11 – 12 AM, Casas de los Niño’s My visit was supervised with Veronica Fimbres today. She did not show up, so I called Linda Kezman, the supervisor, and it was rescheduled for noon. The visit went ok. We were in the break room, and there were no toys to play with. He did not like being cooped up in a small room. We found a game to play. It was broken, so we made the best of it. At the end I laid him down and said that Rafe will go to Daddy Eric’s house, but Mama loves him. He said no and started crying. It broke my heart. On Friday, Shirley Schindel told me that she had talked to Emmanuel and he was planning on stopping the visits.
December 16, Friday, 11-12 am, Casas de los Niño’s The visit was supervised by Shirley Schindel today. We went into the play area. We had a great visit. I tried to get Rafe to read with Mama, but he wouldn’t sit. Shirley suggested we sit in the reading area with the fish tank as he seemed preoccupied with the toys. She is very nice and seems to have a good understanding of what is going on. That was a good idea. He sat with me awhile. Then he saw the fish tank, and I asked where Dory and Nemo is. He looked sadly off into space, as if to remember watching the movie with Mama while I was scrap booking his baby book at the scrapbook store last year. My poor son; I wish I could make him understand that he is loved and that Mama does want him home. All in all we had a very nice visit, as Shirley is a good supervisor; she does not interfere. At the end I gave him two stuffed animals to take with him to his room. It took me almost the whole hour to get him over the separation anxiety, but at the end I finally got him to let me hold him close. I stood up and sang and danced with him very gently for about 5 or 10 minutes, as it was time to go. He laid his head on my shoulder and relaxed. It was bittersweet. I thought he was sleeping, but the girl at Casas said no, just relaxed against my shoulder. I handed him over, and gave him his stuffed animals, and said it is ok, Mama loves you, and it’s ok. This tore my heart out, as I can only imagine what is going through his mind and heart. My son and I are so close, and he does not understand what he did wrong.
December 20, 2005, Tuesday, 11-12 am, Casas de los Niño’s I had a wonderful visit with my son today. We looked at the decorations on the small Christmas tree in the lunchroom. I read to my son, and held him for most of the time. He seemed relieved and happy to see Mama. I loved holding him; I could feel our bond. We went over to the play area, but there were other visits there making it was hard to chase him around, so we went back to the TV area with the couches. I held him and talked to him, and told him Mama will always love him. I also changed his diaper. I asked if he wanted to go potty, and he whined and said “noooo”. He is still afraid to go potty. So I let it go. He had a scrape under his nose and on his chin. Also he has a black and blue mark on his right eyelid. I don’t know how it happened, but it was not a bad injury. When it was time to go, I held him close and sang our songs to him. He becomes melancholy and quiet. I am sure the songs remind him of home. My poor son wonders why Mama does not take him home. I gave him a small stuffed snowmen ornament that I had bought for our tree this year, as he loved driving around town looking at the snowmen last year. It is Christmas, and my son will look for Mama to open the many presents we used to have under the tree. I am unable to go near Winterhaven, as we went four times last year and walked through as I pointed out all the decorations and the carriages. This year I was planning on taking him on a wagon ride at Winterhaven as I did the first Christmas. He is old enough to enjoy it more now, and my baby is gone. There is a Christmas party this Friday at Casas for the parents and children, but my caseworker will not allow me to go. Rafe seems so much better at Casas which only confirms my suspicions of abuse by either the foster parents or the visitation supervisor, Rosemary Jackson. I held him and sung to him and then said good-bye. He cried. I had to leave quickly, so he would not see me break down.
December 22, 2005, Thursday, 11-12, Casas de los Niño’s I had my visit with Rafe with Shirley from the Beacon Group supervising. I asked her about the visit that Emmanuel tried to cancel last Tuesday with Veronica Fimbres supervising. She said it was not Emmanuel that tried to cancel it, but Rosemary Jackson. She told me it was Emmanuel last week. I took a big bag of presents into Rafe. I took a couple for him, and some others for him to unwrap that were donations for Casas de los Niño’s as he had outgrown the toys. For donation I took his Leap Frog Alphabet caterpillar, his airplane which no longer worked with batteries, two Baby Einstein DVDs so we could later watch them, and a winter coat. For Rafe I took 3 flashcards that I made the night before with 6 pictures of Mama and Rafe, him brushing his teeth or eating, and his birthday pictures. I wanted him to have something to look at to remember and comfort him. I also bought him the James train for his Thomas the Train set. He was happy with that. I also wrapped his Time to Potty book, so he could read that and once again learn to potty. We read it together. I took him his Santa Claus hat that he wears at Christmas. He was happy to see that. I think that he though mama would take him home or be there for Christmas. I also put in a Pooh video and he laughed and watched it with me. He really enjoyed opening his presents. We had a nice visit. Then it was time to go. They said they would put the large snowman that came on the gift bag on the Christmas tree. The girls behind the desk at Casas were so busy trying to get the donations from me as their shift was over and take his two presents that it upset Rafe and he started crying. I almost kept the donations. I said now you have upset him. That is the last donation I will take them. I will have to call Robin Gerard to make sure he gets the two things I took him, as it got all mixed up at the end. I hugged him and said its ok Rafe, here is your train James. Go and eat and brush your teeth. My son will not be with me on Christmas to go see lights, unwrap presents, and sing Happy Birthday to baby Jesus.
December 27, 2005, Tuesday, 11-12, Casas de los Niño’s They brought Rafe in from another door facing the front entrance today. They said he was eating. The dining room was to the left, so I don’t know where he was. The visitation supervisor from Beacon Group, Veronica Fimbres was 15 minutes late again. I paged her and called her supervisor. I wonder if Rafe is even at Casas sometimes. I bought Rafe some new shoes, two sizes to try on. He has some very old sneakers on that looked too small. I had a feeling that his feet had grown since he left, and sure enough the size 9 he had on were too small, so I gave him a new pair of size 9 ½ sneakers. I wrote Mama loves Rafe on the sneakers. We had a nice visit. I put in the Frosty the Snowman video since I was unable to watch it with him on Christmas or take him to see all the snowman decorations around Tucson this year. He enjoyed that. We spent some time opening the shoes I brought and then trying them on. I took him to the potty, and he went, so I gave him stickers that I had brought. I was happy to see he was no longer afraid to sit or have his diaper off. He seems better. The lady at Casas said he went poo a couple of times too. I think that when I brought his potty book in last week, it took away the fear. I also know that someone was hurting him during the period at the foster home when we visited at the park. He is much better now. When it was time to go, I held him and sang to him. Again, he relaxed on my shoulder. He looked sad when they led him away like a lost puppy. I said Mama loves you, eat and brush your teeth. I will be back in a couple of days.
December 30, 2005, Friday, 11-12am, Casas de los Niño’s My visit was with Shirley Schindel from the Beacon Group, as is usual on Fridays. We were both on time, but they did not bring out Rafe until 11:15. Shirley was a bit worried, as she was unable to stay late today, so my visit would be cut short. When they brought him out, he appeared sound asleep on the lady’s shoulder. She said he had an ear infection and the flu. We discussed that a short while, and then Shirley and I took Rafe to the sofas to sit. It was nice, as I was able to hold him the whole visit since he was sick. I read to him, held him, kissed his head, and sang our lullabies. I also fed him the bottled water that I had brought, since he needed liquids to combat the sickness. He was very warm, as they said. I simply held him, consoled him, and rubbed his head for most of the visit in between reading to him a bit. I also took 3 of his Thomas the Trains from home to hold. I tried to take off his shoes that I bought him on Tuesday. He whined fearfully as he did in the park. I wondered if Rafe was back at the foster home. He had on two shirts, and since he was running a good fever, I tried to take off the heavier one. He whined, as if insecure of losing his shirt and shoes. I tried to reassure him that he was safe here at Casas, but he continued to whine, almost sobbing, until I put his shoes back on. I asked him where is Rafe’s bed, where does Rafe sleep, and he got big fearful eyes as he did in the park. It was strange. Was he simply remembering, or is he at the foster home in South Tucson again? Toward the end of the visit, around 11:45, I noticed that his jeans were soaked from the top down past the knees. This poor child must have had on the same diaper for a whole day. The diaper was soaked, as though he had peed in it 6 or 7 times. I took him to the changing area and put on a new diaper and gave a volunteer the pants, but she was unable to get new ones as they were short staffed for the holidays. It was time to leave, so I carried Rafe and his shoes to the front. They thanked me for changing his diaper and said they would find more pants for him. He cried today when I left. He seemed comforted that Mama held him while he was sick. I tried to reassure him that he was safe here and that Mama would be back.
January 03, 2006, Tuesday; 11-12, Casas de los Niño’s Shirley Schindel supervised the visit today as Veronica was sick. We had a great visit. I took his sketcher and books today. I was able to get Rafe to count to 50. I let him tell me the next number before I wrote it down. He also spelled some words while reading. We played with his sticker book which teaches number, letters, etc. He is not as advanced as he was at only 3, but I am sure that if I had him for a month, we could catch up easily. He said play Mama, so we went to the play area to run around. The visit went well.
January 06, 2006, Friday, 11-12, Casas de los Niño’s Shirley supervised today. Rafe was sick again. He had a fever, just as last Friday. He also had on the exact same clothes as last Friday when he was sick. I took off his outer shirt that was very heavy to help bring the fever down. Since he was sick, I kept the visit calm. We played awhile with his sticker book. I took Chocolate Ovaltine Milk and he drank it all as if very hungry. I asked him where he sleeps, and as last Friday, he got a very strange look on his face and would not answer. I tried to get him to potty, and he whined as he did last week. He was afraid of the potty. I checked him and he had diaper rash lotion on. His face was dirty and his hair was sticking up all over. They said he was sick, so why was he dirty? I am suspicious as to where Rafe is. He is not as well dressed and groomed as a couple of weeks ago. Shirley noticed it too. She said they told us that he was going potty last week, pee and poo, and was concerned as I was. She also noticed his unusual behavior when I asked where he slept. I am not sure if it is because he is sick, or if he is in the foster home again. I am especially concerned about his reaction when I asked where he slept. I fed him water and held him. He fell asleep in my arms. I caressed his face and rubbed drops of water on his lips. He is dehydrated. One of the volunteers came by and said he was sick. She said they gave him Tylenol as his fever was 106 this am. I said, 106! He would have seizures! She then corrected herself and said it was around 100. I was concerned as he had bad congestion in his chest, and was coughing. It did not sound good at all. He pointed out a friend that was on his way to the lunchroom. This seemed to make him cheery, so they allowed me to take him into the lunch room today. They gave him his food, and I kissed him good-bye. He seemed disappointed as if he thought I was staying for lunch. I called Casas later and questioned about how to get him a haircut, and informed them I was willing to pay for it as he has not had a hair cut in over 3 months. They said they would put him on the list now that they have my permission.
January 10, 2006, Tuesday, 11-12, Casas de los Niño’s Supervised by Veronica Fimbres. I took a new ball to play catch today. Rafe had a lot of fun, as this was an activity we often enjoyed together at the park. I also took a couple of books as well as his potty book. He enjoyed reading, but at the end of the visit I tried to take him potty. He whined the whole time he was sitting on the potty; he is still afraid to sit with his pants down. This tears me apart. We also read one of his newer books. He was able to once again spell some of the words with a bit of encouragement. He continually gritted his teeth and laughed loudly and nervously, as well as shook his head quickly, making funny noises. I think he is developing severe mental problems from everything he has been through. It is sad that such a beautiful, happy, loving, and intelligent boy could be so traumatized. I am very worried about how he will grow up if I don’t soon get him home to undo some of the insecurity and trauma. We had a very nice visit today.
January 9, 2006, 11:30, Child Find Appointment, 445 East Speedway Rafe was evaluated today by Child Find. Rafe was evaluated today for developmental issues. Everything was fine until they tried to get him to count in Spanish. He seemed to shut down. I told the lady he is Caucasian and does not speak Spanish. Later I spoke with Joanne who wanted more history. She said she knows who Dr. Goodsight is, and elaborated that many of the Mothers have told her about Dr. Goodsight not doing his job and then involving CPS. I walked him outside when it was over. I handed him to Elisa. He thought I was taking him home and almost started to cry. My poor son. Emmanuel scheduled my psychiatric immediately after, so I did not do well. I cried most of it, so I am sure that I failed it.
January 10, 2006 Tuesday, Casas de los Niño’s My visit with Rafe went well today. He seemed a bit warm again. He has been sick for nearly 3 weeks now. I tried to get him to go potty, and once again he was afraid. We read books, and I held him. I miss him so much. I know he is leaving soon. Our bond is very strange, as if he has lost his trust in me, because he knows I won’t take him home, and wonders what he did. So many times I took his pictures in to show him, and he looked at me with anticipation, as if he was a good boy, can I come home now Mama? He has given up. He has been through so much now. My heart is breaking. My poor little angel. He was so gentle and kind. Where is God in all of this? Even if his Father could be a good Father, he will always remember his Mama abandoning him. I wish he was old enough to understand. May God wrap his arms around him and keep him safe.
January 13, 2006, Friday, Casas de los Niño’s Visit cancelled by Emmanuel. He said Rafe had a psychological evaluation set up at the last minute, and that I could not go. When I called Robin Gerard at Casas de los Ninos the following week (January 17, 2006), she said Rafe passed both this exam and the Child Find exam; he had no developmental problems.
January 17, 2006, Tuesday, 11-1 pm, Casas de los Niño’s I had a 2 hour visit to make up for Friday. Veronica supervised the first hour. She was 15 minutes late, as usual. She said she had to drive from her home in Nogales and stop in Green Valley. They told me that they would bring in food for the visit as Rafe would miss his lunch and his nap. When I asked the Casas worker, she said no, he can skip lunch. I asked her about the bump on his right forehead and why his eyes were all red and puffy. She said he cried as they took away his lunch. Then she corrected herself and said the girls could not get to him in time and he threw himself down. I said he needs to eat something. She said he would be ok until dinner. My poor son, no lunch and no nap. I gave him his chocolate milk that I brought. He drank it quickly as if very hungry. When she left, Veronica informed me she was taking in an older foster child, one that would go to school and not be home all day. I said that is nice, why? She said she wanted the money so she could sit home with her baby after it was born. I informed her that the money would barely pay for food and clothes for the child. She said no, they pay more. I don’t want to work and want to sit home, so this will make it so I can. It is just another DES job. How cruel. I tried to ignore it. We looked at his baby book scrapbook with all his memories. He remembered his swim instructor and some of his playmates. I read some of it to him. He enjoyed it, but seemed preoccupied. I feel that it now is too bittersweet for him, as it just teases him. It used to reassure him and make him happy. But now it reminds him of home and he wonders why he can’t go home with Mama.
I took 6 of his Thomas the Trains out of the bag and we began playing on the floor. It was nice. Then Shirley showed up to replace Veronica. I was happy for that. The lady came in with his lunch and took us outside. It was very cold. Rafe ate a bit, but wanted to play with the ball Mama brought, so he ran around with his hotdog. He seemed a bit upset that they moved us, as he was reading with Mama. I commented about a hotdog, beans, and corn. Shirley agreed that it was a strange lunch. Rafe seemed very hungry. One of the Casas workers came out and told Rafe to “dispose of his milk properly”. He did as asked. It seemed cold, as if he were a dog. I said, “Rafe, can you throw this napkin away for Mama? Thank you. Good boy”. He smiled. We went back inside. The moving around from place to place seemed to unnerve him. I tried to play with him a bit. I took him to the potty, but he would not go. I changed his diaper. His legs were very chapped as if he is outside in the cold with out proper layers. He needed lotion. They were overly dry and chapped. I washed his face as it was dirty. He still did not have the haircut they said they scheduled him for 2 weeks ago.
My son is not being taken care of as he was a month ago when he first arrived at Casas. He is dirty, has had diaper rash, has had soaked pants from a diaper that was never changed, has chapped skin, and his hair is a mess, and seems hungry and thirsty. I have noticed this over the past 6 visits. Maybe they are short of workers. A baby was screaming horribly. It upset both of us. He put his head on my stomach and shook and whined. It scared him. I wanted to hold him for awhile and reassure him, but the baby screaming was unnerving. He would not let me hold him. I was afraid this would be the last visit and wanted to hold him tight, so he would remember that Mama loves him. I could not. I took him up to the front and left. The visit was very strange. I no longer knew my little boy that I was so close with. He has lost all faith and trust in Mama for abandoning him, especially after all that he has been through. Shirley said she had to cancel Friday’s visit, but would make it up with a 2 hour visit next Friday. I know he will not be here. He will go with his Father. My son will not see me, and already thinks Mama dumped him and does not want him. I can feel that from him. May God bless him and let him someday know the truth. My heart is broken for what my son is feeling, abandoned and unloved. I wonder if it is even a good idea to go and see him anymore, as it seems only to hurt him more.
This must STOP. Kidnapping our children for federal funds. Children are 11 times more likely to be abused or molested in state custody than at home. 80% of allegations are false yet only 2% of these are returned to their home. These agencies are corrupt, the lie, commit perjury on the stand, and usually have no evidence to back up their case. Foster parents do it only for the money. This is racketeering and kidnapping.
Children/Birth Date: Lary (1999) Esi (2001)
Date Separated: Nov 2003
Still under a temporary order within the Kent County, MI court system. The Kent County Family Court system has used temporary and administrative processes to force my case into a pot hole, where they can keep accruing my arrearages and use that information to continue gaining an upper hand against me and diminishing my chances to make a living or maintain my own household for the children.
Kent County Judges, Friend of the Court, Child Protective Services, the Commissioners, local lawyers, and all their staff are profiting from Michigan's Prepaid Welfare Scam known as the Family Court System. These people are anti-family. They have instituted a position of using fear to short circuit debate, suppress evidence, and drive the special interest public policy forward profiting from the destruction of our families. How are these monsters profiting from your children?
The Michigan Family Court system has grouped nearly all Domestic Relations cases into the local Friend of the Courts. The local FOC's in turn contract to the State to supply "Title IV-D WELFARE SERVICES" making all "clients" WELFARE RECIPIENTS. The Title IV-D system was originally intended only for TANF (formerly AFDC) recipients, however the States saw an opportunity to abuse this system and maximize their "federal funding" by shoving all people into the Welfare System despite its original intent.
Now each and every person is kicking in for these Welfare Services at the front door (if they are involved in a case) and back door through their taxes. In essence all Divorce and Custody litigants become WELFARE RECIPIENTS because of this scam. It doesn't stop with Kent County, Ottawa County, or Muskegon County... It is just the beginning.
We the People v. Michigan Family Court, FOC, and CPS. Let's stop the welfare
state agenda. Reform our State so it does not have to rely on Welfare from the
Federal Government and bring our people back to their feet.
Anyone with questions about Michigan Grievance Procedures and the like are welcome to send me questions and I will provide answers or direct people to others that have the answers.
Children/Birth Date: Kayla Capanzzi: 1-5-1990 & Anthony Capanzzi: 9-17-1991
Date Separated: August 24, 1994 (web site: http://michaelcapanzzi.blogharbor.com )
When my divorce began, one of the first things that occurred was that my ex's sister, Linda Fetzer, who is a lawyer herself but who chose not to openly represent her sister, advised her on the best way to gain the upper hand in divorce. So...aside from the law firm that Linda referred my wife Marie to, eventually Robert Tate of John R. Cook and Associates, Marie had her licensed lawyer of a sister, Linda, whispering on behalf of the entire Mambuca family in her ear. The purpose of that was to incite an argument and use that to petition for P.F.A...or what's commonly called, a "Protection From Abuse" order.
The purpose of this 'upper hand- was to acquire a "Structured Settlement" that I had inherited the right to receive' from my late cousin before we were married.
My cousin was injured in a work-related accident. He fell roughly 35 feet from the rooftop of a Carlsbad California beach side condo, mid-way into construction' and on the way down , hit his head on a boom crane and landed in a pile of slag.
Because he had no spouse or decent family to take care of him, I was asked to, by his then lawyer Jim McCabe, also a Jehovah's Witness...some religion huh? Later on the Jehovah's Witnesses would disfellowship my cousin Chris because he couldn't quit smoking and also because of his eccentric personality.
How could I say no?
You're about to read the whole story below, although I'll tell you right now, I'm still in the process of writing it. Sometimes the pain of reliving it all is just too unbearable.
But for the purpose of this particular part of the site, I'll give you the short version.
Before my cousin Chris committed suicide, he named me as sole beneficiary of his estate. He did it out of love and gratitude...but also out of a great longing. He truly loved seeing me and Marie start a family of our own. A REAL family...
But the idea of him committing suicide, made 'inheriting' something from him for ANY reason, so absolutely incomprehensible, that I can't even begin to properly describe the feeling adequately...
And during the will contest that I had to endure...because all of the sudden, his immediate family...a dad, a sister, a brother and an eccentric aunt...all,who his attorney Jim McCabe had approached for assistance in Chris' day-to-day 'living needs,' and who had refused...suddenly decided that they had an automatic entitlement to any property that Chris may have had.
Knowing that the truth and the law were on my side, I saw no reason not to go on supporting my family with the revenue I was receiving during the pendency of the will contest.
Some of the legal papers can be viewed in "Michael's Legal Papers." You can see them by clicking onto the "Masculiste" link below.
I purchased a home and bought my ex a brand new $20,000. car for her birthday. I also proposed marriage again, when our daughter was over a year old, and our second born son was well on the way...
And for the record, Marie was the love my my life.
Her reply in the past was always "NO!" She needed to find herself. You're about to read all about the person that she eventually found herself to be...dark and evil.
Eventually, my ex's family had convinced her that while the money was coming in, she should marry...just in case we ever divorced. For years they disapproved of me...
So they planned a very small wedding, and we were married May 24, 1991. And in spite of what she claimed to the contrary several years later...she was DEFINITELY a witness to all, my cousin and his death by suicide, the will contest and the settlement that I got BUSHWHACKED into...
Because later on, at exactly the same time that my son Tony was born with complications, I was bullied by everyone, the probate judge, my wife, and my rat-bastard sell-out lawyer, into an illegal settlement with my family over my cousins structured settlements.
The rip-off was finalized in December of 1991. What a Christmas that was....(again see "Michael's Legal Papers")
Roughly 3 years later, my then wife took a fancy to an old boyfriend of hers who was in the stock brokerage business. She knew this guy had the hots for her. She used to turn to him, and have affairs with him, while we were going together. She'd start a fight...then run off to him...have her fling, and then come back to me.(she used to INSIST that this was my fault) But she kept insisting that NOW, they were just friends. His name was Bruce Batley. Imagine if you will, a slick used car salesman and it would be the best way to describe him...
At HIS behest, she wanted me to take a job working directly for him as a stock broker trainee. At first I was against it vehemently, but I was ultimately convinced to do it after all, on the premise that "if I REALLY loved my wife, I wouldn't display such childish jealousy. "After all," according to Marie, "she could have any man she wanted. But she CHOSE me. So I needed to just shut up and be a man"...according to Marie.
So I gave it the old college try. At least until I saw what a racket they were running at his office. Ever seen the movie "BOILER ROOM?"...because that's what was going on there...a REAL boiler room.)
Eventually his firm DID get busted for ripping off innocent retired investors. A multimillion dollar ponzi scheme...see 1995 3rd Dstr.,US v Penn Capital Financial Services.
It was after I quit that slimy firm, that our marriage crumbled...and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I confronted her about it, and she told me to my face that she didn't love me, and she definitely did NOT want to grow old with me. And if she had to work at a relationship with me, then it wasn't worth working at.
She made me feel pretty bad. I mean REALLY bad. But she didn't want to hear one word about how I felt about anything.
When I filed for divorce I truly felt one of two things would have to happen...if she was just talking shit because she was angry at me, about god-knows-what back during god-knows-when, she would just say so and we would stay together. If she was serious about what she HAD said, then we would get divorced. My feelings were that I loved her (so much that I should have RUN FLAILING to a therapist)...but there was no way I was going to stay married to her or ANYBODY if they didn't love me. So it all seemed pretty cut and dry. I felt lied to and I felt used but I was willing to let go.
Incidentally, a short time later, I did find out from my daughter that they were sleeping together. And Bruce Batley was named as a co-defendant in the federal action. He even ripped off an old lady of more than a quarter million dollars, and with the money, he took my ex AND my kids to Florida, then dropped my kids off at their grandparents house while he and my wife (would you believe that she dragged out the divorce part for 3 1/2 years and the property issues for 5 1/2 years) went on holiday. This was during my daughter's birthday on my scheduled holiday to have them.
And as a birthday present to my little girl, I drew a portrait of both my kids and their mother. My ex ripped it up and threw it in the garbage.
She continued doing things like that all the time, and OPENLY, in front of the kids.
So now we're into serious divorce mode. And her sister Linda and the rest of the Mambuca clan were advising her SOLEY on how to obtain my inheritance, by using PFA's through incitement, and then by dragging out the whole divorce process, to hopefully wear me down.
At one point she had agreed, in writing, that while I was responsible for child support, my inheritance was unattachable. Then, almost immediately, she completely violated every provision of her side of the agreement, and engaged in Welfare Fraud so that THEY would overturn the agreement that WE signed. The "No Attachment" clause...
>From then on, she engaged in a pattern of contempt and abuse, so that she could get these PFA's, and use them to pervert proper procedure. She got 4 of them in a 3 year period. All by doing something abhorrent AROUND the kids, knowing full well that it would enrage me when my daughter would complain to me about it. Then if I talked to Marie about it, she would promptly tell me to go fuck myself, along with something like, "These kid's are mine and, when I have them, it's none of your fucking business what I do with them."
And also little, petty shit like listening on another line when my daughter Kayla and I talked on the phone to one another.
What these actions were designed to do was create and maintain conflict, and thereby drag out the entire divorce process, and pressure me into a settlement whereby she retains some, or most, of the remaining structured settlements in the same manner as the will contestants did earlier...as an OWNER. Even though tax law says they can't be owned in that manner. And as a result, no conveyance of ownership status of a structured settlement can exist or be obtained. So when she made a case for the very thing that federal law says she can't have...the case she made before the court was, in fact, manufactured...or FRAUDULENT. Look up the term, "Fraud On The Court" in Black's Law Dictionary. And drag out the process of divorce, it did!
To this very day, I cannot live in my hometown Pittsburgh Pa, and feel safe that all I have to do is pay my child support so I can always be in my kids lives. And that no one can ever, EVER take that away from me.
Because that type of bullshit never stops!
She has currently got the courts to illegally seize my inheritance AND double attach against my paycheck here in Chicago without ever having to actually approach and coordinate with the Cook County Courts here or even call for a hearing in Pittsburgh. She just picks up a phone on a total whim, and asks the clerks in the Child Support Division Office to run a social security check on me, and send out duplicate attachment orders.
If I were to go by MOST people's advice, I would just give up.
Because it seems that no matter what I do, I can't win. So I ought to just 'pony up the dough...cowboy the fuck up...and make sure I've got plenty of warm blankets for the park bench at bed time.
She's been hitting my daughter. That's right...smacking her around, but when my Kayla suggested maybe it's time for her to live with me...that she "didn't feel safe in her house anymore", she was promptly placed in the care of a psychiatrist, prescribed anti-depressants and put in follow-up therapy that pretty much stresses how everything's MY fault...that if I really loved her, I would be there, no matter what.
And if I fight it out to see my kids again and get my money back, I spend so much time in court that I can't earn a living in the meantime...this is a common tactic in the divorce industry.
And I have to deal with all this bullshit alone.
Because you can't make a lawyer represent your case, no matter how much money you throw at them. Plus, mine is a case of several lawyers engaged in fraud and malpractice. And this is also a case of judges who clearly violated the law by acting with complicity in the face of fraud on the court, and obligated their oath of office by acting with such clear bias and criminal abuse of discretion. So what lawyer is going to represent me?
So really, all I can do is write, and speak...and work to rebuild my life yet again. How many times does that make it now?...I've honestly lost track.
And as you might have guessed, I'm pretty angry.
I want my kids back. And yes...you're goddamned right, I want my money back. My son is autistic and if he were to have to live out his life in a state run institution, I might be so inclined as to go on a murder spree. I ALMOST did...
My daughter certainly deserves a better life than she's had up to this point. She's seen her mom in action and has had to endure an enormous amount of responsibility.
There are not many voices who speak for men in my position. The few that there are, are usually drowned out by corruption, greed and misandry.
The true extent of this kind of abuse, that goes on all across this country, to millions of dads just like me, makes me want to move to the fucking Balkans.
Again, am I angry? Yes. As I said before, I was almost angry enough to kill all of them. Judge Lawrence J. Kaplan, her lawyer Robert Tate at John R. Cook and Associates, her NOW on-again, off-again boyfriend Joe Halapchuk who thinks he has taken my place with my own children, her sister Linda Fetzer who orchestrated this whole thing...and her...Marie Mambuca.
And I almost went ahead with it too...yep...that's the truth of it. But I made sure I got good help. I voluntarily went into a hospital here in Chicago, and got myself into SERIOUS therapy...which I continue on with, even to this day.
I've met with, and talked to hundreds of dads from around the world who have experienced this same hell. We've shared our pain and our stories with one another.
Children/Birth Date: CRYSTAL (1992) AND COURTNEY (1994)
Date Separated: 9/30/96
MY EX AND I WENT THRU A BITTER DIVORCE IN 1994. IT WAS FILED WHEN COURTNEY WAS 6 WKS OLD.
I (THE MOTHER) WON CUSTODY AND HE WAS COURT ORDERED TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. I WAS FORCED TO MOVE IN WITH MY MOTHER AND MORE CHAOS ERUPTED. I FOUND A JOB WORKING WEEKENDS, HOLIDAYS AND SHIFT WORK AND BECAUSE MY EX WAS NOT PAYING CHILD SUPPORT BUT YET SEEING HIS BEST FRIEND'S EX WIFE AND AFFORDING TO TAKE HER TO LAS VEGAS AND ON LIMOUSINE RIDES WHILE MY MOTHER WAS CONSTANTLY COMPLAINING FOR US (MY GIRLS AND ME)TO MOVE OUT. I FINALLY STOPPED WELFARE AND FOUND AN APT AND GAVE TEMPORARY CUSTODY TO MY EX MOTHER IN LAW (MY EX WAS STILL RESIDING WITH HER).
I WAS TRYING TO FIND CHILD CARE AND DURING THAT TIME MY EX WENT ON HIS MISSION AND WITH THE SUPPORT OF HIS MOTHER TOOK ME BACK TO COURT. I HAD NO LEGAL SUPPORT AND HE WON BECAUSE HE HAD AN EXPENSIVE ATTORNEY AND I HAD NONE. IT WAS BIASED.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED, COMMITTED, CHEMICALLY DEPENDENT, INVOLVED IN TRAUMATIZING OR DRAMATIC RELATIONSHIPS OR PUT THE CHILDREN IN HARMS WAY. I COULDN'T LEAVE MY CHILDREN ALONE AND I WASN'T ABOUT TO LEAVE THEM IN THE CUSTODY OF STRANGERS. I DID WHAT I FELT WAS IN THE BEST INTEREST. MY MOTHER WAS OF NO HELP WHATSOEVER AND CREATED AN EVER SO STRESSFUL ENVIRONMENT.
SINCE THAT TIME, I HAVE SEEN NUMEROUS PARALEGALS AND ATTORNEY'S THAT CHARGE ASTRONOMICAL AMOUNTS FOR NOTHING. I WANTED TO RUN AND HIDE AND TAKE MY GIRLS AND GO UNDERGROUND BUT WAS TOLD I COULD LOSE THEM FOREVER AND GET ARRESTED AND SENTENCED.
MY EX HAS AN EXPLOSIVE TEMPER AND GETS OUT OF CONTROL ESPECIALLY WHEN HE DOES NOT GET HIS WAY. HE MAKES NEARLY 3 TIMES THE AMOUNT OF MONEY THAN I DO BUT YET NOTHING HAPPENED WHEN HE DIDN'T PAY HIS CHILD SUPPORT AND I WAS FORCED TO WELFARE, BUT NOW I HAVE TO PAY HIM WHICH DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, BUT IF I DON'T...THEN I GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL (DO NOT PASS GO AND DO NOT COLLECT $200.00). I SPENT COUNTLESS HOUR AT THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S OFFICE.
I HAVE DONE THE BEST I CAN TO BE AN HONEST AND RESPECTFUL LAW ABIDING CITIZEN, NEVER IN MY LIFE EXPECTING MY CHILDREN COULD BE TAKEN FROM ME. MY EX GETS HIS CHEAP THRILLS BY PREVENTING ANY RELATIONSHIP I CAN HAVE WITH MY GIRLS.
I HAVE NOW OBTAINED ATTORNEY #3. I AM VERY HAPPY WITH HER FOR NOW AS SHE HAS BEEN THE ONLY ONE TO SUBMIT THE PAPERWORK AS WAS ORDERED IN COURT. WE HAVE BEEN THRU CHILDREN'S THERAPISTS AND COUNSELS BUT YET THESE PEOPLE DO NOT "KNOW" MY CHILDREN, MYSELF OR MY EX PERSONALLY AND IT WAS BASED ON A "WHAT APPEARED" OR "WHAT SEEMED" BASIS. WE HAVE SPENT COUNTLESS AMOUNTS OF MONEY, TIME AND ENERGY THAT COULD HAVE BEEN FOCUSED MORE POSITIVELY FOR THE CHILDREN. IT HAS BEEN A WASTE OF TIME.
HAVE THEY CHECKED WITH OTHER COUNTRIES TO SEE HOW IT IS HANDLED THERE AS OPPOSED TO HERE? IN ONE COUNTRY, THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT PAYS INTO A CHILDREN'S TRUST FUND AND NOT SOME OUTRAGEOUS AND UNOBTAINABLE AMOUNT OF MONEY. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT CAN TAKE THE MONEY BASED THAT RECEIPTS ARE PROVIDED (UNIFORMS, TUITION, BOOKS, CLOTHES, DR BILLS ETC) AND CANNOT JUST TAKE THE MONEY OUT ARBITRARILY. IF THERE IS JOINT CUSTODY THEN EITHER FAMILY OR FRIENDS DO THE EXCHANGE OF THE CHILDREN TO AVOID HOSTILITY OR HEAD GAMES IF THE PARENTS CANNOT COMMUNICATE ON A MATURE LEVEL.
IT WOULD BE GREAT IF OUR GOVERNMENT RESEARCHED THIS BECAUSE THERE HAS BEEN TOO MANY DEATHS (ESPECIALLY THE INNOCENT CHILDREN) BECAUSE THEY WERE AT THE WRONG PLACE AND TIME AND THE PARENTS COULD NOT CONTROL THEIR TEMPER. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT BE ALIVE TODAY IF THE COURTS WEREN'T SO GUNHO ABOUT TRYING TO PATCHWORK PEOPLE THAT DON'T BELONG NEAR EACH OTHER. IF THERE WAS A DIVORCE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WAS PART OF THE REASON AND ONE PARTY FEELS THREATENED, THEN THERE SHOULD BE AN INTERVENTION. THIS WAY CHILDREN DON'T HAVE TO BE VICTIMS AND WITNESSES TO VIOLENT LANGUAGE, NAME CALLING, HOSTILE ACTIONS ETC.
SOMEBODY!!!!...ANYBODY!!!! THAT IS IN THE POSITION TO MAKE SOME CHANGES...PLEASE HEAR US. THANK YOU
Children/Birth Date: Wayne J LaPlant Jr 6/24/84; Ebony T LaPlant 5/09/85;Amanda M LaPlant 6/24/84
Date Separated: 6/24/85 & 11/87
Just wanted to say First I am glad to finally feel like I am not the only one that that has been screwed over by the Court system.
I was 18 yrs old when I met Wayne, we had Wayne JR that when things got bad I got physically and verbally abused, even while holding my son. So I did what any person in their right mind would do, move. Well as you can see I found out I was pregnant with Twins. So His mom said he was getting helped and doing good so moved back well in 1987. I was pregnant again, 6 months pregnant. His mom and stepfather held me down and he beat me again, I left out the bathroom window manage to call 911, they did not arrest him they let me take my son and gave me an escort to a friends house .
Then I got my own place and had my son Christerfer. Well Wayne was at a park with my girlfriends daughter and Wayne to her to tell me I could pick him up when I got there he would give me him unless I signed a paper giving him custody of my Ebony and Amanda so I did. He got custody of the girls I got custody of the boys. Then he just gave them to his mother so that she could stay on Social Service.
After that he went to get Visitation of Wayne Jr, well he had no Driver L and always came drunk so I tried to get the visitation to be stopped but they wanted to hold me contempt of court. So I let him go. One weekend Wayne was with his grandmother that spanked him and left a bruise. Well they took me to court for abuse of my son, that didn't work so he told Wayne Chris was not his brother and Wayne started a fire in the closet cause he hated his brother. Then I was threatened to have my house burned down, Wayne and his mother would call my job and harass me 4-5 times a day so I finally gave up custody cause the Court system would not help me but bent over backwards for him. We ended up joint Custody I was to see him every other weekend , mothers day, every other holiday and month in the summer also Wayne was not to leave Wayne or Monroe County without permission of the court.
Well my visitation went one weekend went to pick my son up and ended up at a vacant apartment. went to court they told me I needed a address to file paper work. A couple years go by and ran into his sister who told me where they lived so I would get a week of visitation then back to not seeing him. Then I received notice that he filed for child support up in Tupper Lake tried to have him arrested for taking him out of state the cops told me they could not do anything it was like taking him to Walmart in a different County and the Court again said I needed a address but Social Service won't give the non-custodial parent.
I finally got to see My son Wayne Jr 6/2003 he is 19 but still pay child $81.00 a week for child support for Ebony and Amanda that I have not seen since 1987 and being taking back to court because now are 18 and getting on their own SS one pregnant and the other lives with her boyfriend with no income. So it is the Court System and Social Service System that needs to be fixed.
People on Social Service needs to be checked in on on a regular basis the Court needs to listen to each case differently no family is the same. Oh yea I have paid my child support for Wayne, Ebony,Amanda with most of the time living on $30.00 a week to support my son and myself at home, he was never made to pay child support for any of them ever, Wayne always worked under the table lived with people on Social Service so that he would not have to pay I turn him in and nothing was ever done, I was just told by the lady sitting in the Child support room that he could leave the child wherever he wanted to and the reason not being able to see my child was that I did Drugs. I have never done drugs and drink maybe two drinks three times a year. The child that was hurt the most out of all this is the one I did not allow him to take. He is 16 years old almost 17 and his whole life was told sorry I can't afford, no you can't have, we shared sneakers and jeans until he out grew me. And want to really apologize to him most of all
Children/Birth Date: Brad (1992)
Date Separated: 8/18/99
The following is sections from a lawsuit being brought against my husband and I by three incompetent fraudulent, unskilled, bias workers in the Virginia Beach Child Protection service. First they destroy a seven-year old child's life, mentally , physically and sexually. They falsely accuse me of molesting the child and when it is "unfounded" these workers were under the impression that I would not tell. They have tried to have me terminated from my employment and when that does not work they go to court and try to sue. I would like to inform the public that Sasha Shaw stated on November 9, 2001 in Court that she now uses an alias. She also stated that she has only been with CPS 2 years. In May 2000 she was only with the agency 6 months. She does not know the Commissioners name.
"Comes now the Plaintiffs, Sasha Shaw, Megan Morrison, Michelle Dexter and moves this Honorable Court to enter an award of judgment in their favor against the defendants, in the amount of $75,000 compensatory and $75,000 punitive damages. It goes on to say that these workers has suffered irreparable humiliation, mortification, shame, disgrace and injury to there reputation..."
They have not suffered, WE THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN FRAUDULENT ACCUSED OF CHILD ABUSE OR NEGLECT ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE BEEN HUMILIATED, SHAMED, AND WILL REMAIN ACCUSED FOR THE REST OF OUR LIFE. I WILL CONTINUE TO TELL WHAT YOU DID UNTIL 2 YEARS AFTER I DIE.
Children/Birth Date: Jerry (Son), Jess (Grandson) (1990)
Date Separated: n/a
I am writing again to explain how the system really takes care of the children. I have been fighting for a DNA test and my rights to my daughter for 6 years now and have now in my hand the court order for temporary sole custody? But the same Judge signed an order for me and somehow also signed one for the maternal grandmother. I had only put my daughter in school for the first week when without even getting a phone call from the school, the sheriff or the family safety office who were investigating the family.
When the school let the grandmother take my daughter she ran to another state and is in hiding. I have since been back to court and a second Judge accepted my verification that the grandmother had defrauded the court system so they put on my order that the order she had was no good. He statd they could not help me get my daughter back. So all 3 of these offices are now telling us how sorry they are but it is up to us to find my baby and try to get her back. And then they wonder why people go nuts and do crazy things. I will be filing for a writ of assistance to help get the sheriff in what ever state I find her in to go with me to get her if I can find her. We will also be trying to post her on the missing kidnapped children board. Thanks for listening.
Children/Birth Date: Breanna (1990)
Date Separated: n/a
I am going through the court system now. My child is 11 yrs old. We live in the Dallas, Tx area. I was separated in 95 and it took 2 yrs to get divorced and $25,000. Bankruptcy. My ex has expanded standard visitation so that we don't have to see too much of each other. In 95-96 he had supervised visitation for almost a yr due to physical inappropriateness, emotional abuse, and poss. abuse of looking in my daughter's vagina every night after her showers. We had psychological eval, counseling, parenting classes. He wanted primary custody with me having limited with my daughter. However my daughter told things he was doing, which of course he denied.
Now, I have gone back to court. I want to get permission to move to Ks with my daughter. I want primary custody with limited visitation for him. My daughter probably wants to move to ks worse than I do, where there is family. She wants limited time with him. She hates being told when she has to go over there. She hates the 2 weekends in a row. She hates the holidays that she has to spend extra time over there. She is called a-hole, s.o.b., stupid, dumb, told she has a f-in little mouth. Her father talks negatively about her mother a lot. Tells her that her mother has satan very close to her, and she thinks to herself that he is the one who is satan. That her mother is a crazed woman who lies, and she thinks he is the one. A lot more verbal stuff. She gets shoved out of the way. Poked in the chest so hard she can feel his fingernail. Has been kicked-tried to block it with her hand, and her pinky hurt for a few months. Has been slapped and told that he will do whatever it takes to get her attention and respect. Has been hit on top the head so hard it makes her neck hurt. Has been grabbed by the head and lifted to tip toe.
He has told Bre's counselor that this is discipline. He wants full custody of her now, because he is married now and can give her family life. Breanna does not want to be with him and has told him. Asks to come home to mom's and gets in trouble for saying that. Can you blame her for not wanting to be with him? What are her rights in all this? Of course, no lawyer wants to help you unless you have a lot of money. So does that mean my daughter just has to put up with that kind of behavior? Oh, after spending all the money I have, now he is being nice. But so what. We've been all through this before. He refuses to buy her any clothes, so unless she takes something over there with her, then she wears basically the same clothes all weekend.
Children/Birth Date: Shakara (1995)
Date Separated: March 2001
My daughter is 6 now. She was 4 and a 1/2 when her fathers mother got temp custody of her and they had only been in her life for 6 months (that was their choice from the day she was born). I have not seen my daughter since march of 2001. Her father had got custody of her by default because I live in a different state and didn't have an attorney.
He now tells the courts he is in NM and they let him take her with no parenting plan or set visitation for me. I am now stuck here in WA with supervised visits that I will never get. The hardest thing is that his mother has custody of his other 2 children and has for years due to his drug use for at least 15 years. I miss my baby girl and would do anything to see her, hear her voice, hold her in my arms and to kiss her and tell her that mommy loves her.
I never got to say goodbye. She also has 3 siblings that are 8,5 and 18 months old that live with me. They grew up really close to her. She was the heart of our family. Now when we think of her we all get teary eyed. They talk about her all the time. They keep her stuff all neat for when she comes home (I could never tell them that it may be a long time because mom doesn't have the money to get an attorney). This eats at me every day.
WHAT CAN I DO? Legal aid won't help because I live in a different state than the custody is in. Please help me if you can. There were a lot of legal thing done wrong in the case.
Children/Birth Date: Carol (1958)
Date Separated: May 12, 1996
On May 28, 1998 two baby girls were born to a mother who had already lost her child to the Ministry of Children and Families Development in Fort St. John British Columbia, Canada. Mom's first daughter was apprehended in 1996, just 10 months after her birth for gross neglect. It was ruled that Mom was not in a position to care for the child and she was put into permanent care of the MCFD.
2 and a half years later, a set of twin baby girls were born to this same mother (different father). Even though her first daughter was in continuing care she was allowed to take the two new babies home. My question at that time to the Supervisor of Child Protection was "If she is unable to look after her three year old why are you giving her two defenseless babies" I was told that it was none of my business.
I am unclear at this point if Mom received the older child back because she had turned 19 or because I was making waves but one month after the twins birth mom received the older one back.
Problems arose shortly after their birth with such things as Mom's drug abuse, neglect, leaving the children alone in the apartment when going across the road to use the computer and telephone, not feeding them properly, physical abuse and neglect. In a MCFD documentation it is stated that Mom admitted to all of this except the improper food.
October of 1998 MCFD, on taxpayers money, moved the same mom to another province. My court order for not less than one day a week of visitation was forgotten about.
On January 27, 1999 I received a telephone call from the Mom stating that I was to come to Edmonton Alberta (an 8 hour drive) and pick up the children before she killed them.
I left immediately, drove to Edmonton and picked up the children (all three) without the proper clothes, sour bottles, no winter clothing etc. and brought them home.Both babies were, within one and two days taken into emergency as they were both very sick.
From January 1999 - August 10, 1999 Mom visited the girls sporadically and even though she had passed custody of all three children the the twins father and then wanted the oldest back, the children remained living in the same home, mine.
On August 10, 1999, Mom and Dad came to my home in the morning and said that the MCFD was in court to apprehend the children. It turned out that since Dad had custody of the two smaller ones, they were only going after a supervisory order on the oldest who had been in her mother's care for 18 days. So, in 1999 I received custody of all three girls. Since that time the Mom has taken me back to court for such things as;
There is still concerns over the children's well being and on September 19, 2001 I had in court two recent persons who were to testify as to recent abuse of the two smallest children. A Judge Schmidt released the witnesses and said that he would not be hearing them.
My problems with this whole situation is: Sometimes, for the children's own benefit they must not live with one parent or the other. However, in my experience as the paternal grandmother, when I stepped in to raise these three children (the oldest is now up for adoption as I could not protect her from her mother even with the help of the courts) I have been labeled medalling, trying to steal the children etc. When does the best interests of the children come into a court case or into the MCFD. I know in British Columbia one of their own policies is that they are to place children with relatives if at all possible, they don't do it. People like myself have to fight the whole way without the benefit of Legal Aid Lawyers who are all to willing to help the lousy parents.
IN British Columbia, there is my rhyme or reason to how the Ministry for Children and Families, the Court System and other agencies who are governed to protect children work. For once, I would like to see a panel of person's meet with our Minister and tell him, face to face the problems across the province before we add another statistic to our ever increasing child mortality rate.
Our children are our future, should we not owe them the time and dedication to ensure their safety, well being, physical as well as mental well being?
I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org if you would like any further information, or have any suggestions. I have documentation, (thousands of pages) to back up what I am saying and would be happy to share them with concerned persons.
P.S.: For any of you who think that I may be a flake (have been called that too as persons who have not been there say, it's not possible, I must be some kind of a flake) I raised 3 children, two stepchildren, one other teenager and never had my motherhood questioned. I am the grandmother of 7 and a half grandchildren. Come from a large loving "functional" family. Been divorced once but my husband now is very supportive and a real sweetheart. Am the executive director of a non profit organization, have ran for city council and am an advocate of anyone who is in jeopardy of having their rights violated. I also do not have a criminal record and in 1998 was approved as a foster parent (the MCFD said should the need arise) until it came time to sign it. They refused because they said that I couldn't work with the Ministry. I believe it was because I asked to many questions and held them accountable.
So my heart goes out to anyone who is in the position of Child Protection Services, in any country not doing their job. The only hope that I can offer is keep fighting, loud and long.
Children/Birth Date: Darryl Blessing Jr (7/8/88) Sean Blessing (10/11/90)
Date Separated: May 12, 1996
I can't afford to fight any more. In Feburary,96 I came home from work 3:30 a.m. listened to the phone recordings from the night -- on the recordings was a message from my exs bosses wife. On the message she was yelling at my wife about sleeping with her husband. My ex was his secretary during our marriage. My ex would accuse me off having affairs, which was not true. The final one she picked a name off a birthday card and said I was sleeping with her.
At the time I was working 12 hrs. 7 days. Taking care of both the boys while my ex was working day shift. My response to her was where do I have the time to have this affair, so I filed for divorce meanwhile staying at the house until my ex filed for protection order against me in may. When I was ordered to leave the house I asked the officer what I had did wrong she told me she was afraid of me. That night I drove by the house and her bosses van was in the the driveway, I found out that his wife had done the same thing except he had beaten her up I found out that my ex had bailed him out.
My ex had failed during the marriage to tell me she was sleeping with at the time with my best friend, during our courtship she failed to tell me she had done the same thing to her ex husband. I filed to get physical custody of the boys seeing I was the one who did all activities with them and thought I was capable of raising them on my own. these activities included bowling, boy scouts, and baseball. I also did most of the laundry, cooking, and household chores around the house so she would have an easier time with the kids while I was at work at night. During the court battle I was accused of having affairs, stealing my own money, and being abusive to my my own boys. I was told if we didn't come to some kind of agreement that someone would have a very large fee to pay by the judge. In the end I paid her lawyers fees her health insurance for 6 months although she had a job that paid her insurance which she quit so her boss- boyfriend wouldn't lose his job.
My child support was based on wages that she was making after she got a job from a friend of her boyfriend which was much less than what she was making before the divorce. Friend of the court based my child support on the overtime that I was working at the auto factory and not on the base wages so now I'm trying to get them reduced because we're not working that overtime. I can't afford to pay $1052.00 a month. Now I'm trying to find another job so I can save the house I live in now. I can't claim the kids on income tax time. I'm unable to see the boys (no money) looking for another job she uses the time that is given to me on holidays as regular visitation time when it states that we are suppose to alternate those weekends.
I complained to and visited friend of the court and they said she could do that when they sent her a letter stating my complaint she told me that if I didn't tell the friend of the court that I was wrong on filing the complaint that she would go back to the original court decree when I was put on another shift at work making it impossible for me to see my boys. When I finally got to see my boys thru some bargaining with her my oldest son said he wanted to live with me after I got a lawyer to file a motion for this he changed his mind telling me that his mother said he would never see her again that I would keep him from her.
I allowed her to take my oldest boy to a band camp on my weekend with me going to pick him up after. She took him there she told me that was not going anywhere near the camp that she would have thrown in jail. She has changed doctor appointments after we agreed on a certain date and never told me of the change. She took the boys out of school to go skiing in Utah while the oldest son had scarlet fever. When I found out from the school that this had happened and no follow up doctors exam was given I called her to take him to a follow up exam. She denied me this right telling me that she would have me arrested when we went to court to have visitation changed and child support reduced. Her lawyer quit and the court gave her 30 days to get another lawyer. The following weekend she moved.
I tried to work things out with her after I found were they live when she sent me a letter letting me know 4 weeks after they moved every time I called to talk to them on the phone she's in the background yelling at them so I finally told them to call me collect when we can have a private conversation. This past Christmas she allowed me to see them. I tried to work out a regular visitation with her again wanting to meet half way to make it easier on both of us. It was her suggestion so I agreed, then she didn't want to agree on any place. Then she had to think about it. Still no response, still no visitation, still no new lawyer. I e-mail my boys twice a week, no replies. When I called social services on the scarlet fever they told me I was at fault even though I didn't find out until they came back from the skiing trip. The docter told me he had 104 temperature when they left. I was never notified by the school doctor or my ex about this.
Good luck in your quest to make things better for us. I cannot afford to help out. The system has made it impossible for me to fight anymore. Maybe it will be better for the children someday when the court gets there head out of there asses and becomes more responsible. Its all about money and keeping it going for the high priced lawyers judges and social workers. Thanks for your time.
I love you Darryl and Sean Blessing, your dad.
Children/Birth Date: Rachel (1992)
Date Separated: Feb 4, 1998
I have no ability to fight this anymore. My daughter is being destroyed by her own mother and the court systems and attorneys pure corruption. No one will help even up to the US Attorney General.
I like what AKidsRight is doing. This is very much needed to have a federal mandate for Civil and Family Rights. Everything in this I have been denied. Due to what the incompetent and biased judge, contemptuous liar opposing attorney and mostly my former spouse have done, said, fabricated, lied about, created from nothing, I have no rights to the court, no attorney rights no motion access rights, no rights to my daughter, legally no rights, contractually no rights, zero, nada, nothing.
My daughter as we read/write this is being destroyed by a presently contemptuous criminalized system. If a person pays enough to the right people, are able/allowed to defraud and extort then they win whatever they seek. If a father (or mother) tells the truth it is ignored while the other destroys or take from the defenseless parent.
I am now on SS disability because of the former spouses violence and threats to my life but she has full control and custody of my daughter and I am denied access to my 9 year old except for 20 hours per YEAR.
Children/Birth Date: Carlton (1989) and Blair (1995)
Date Separated: May 11, 2001
The Ministry for Children and Family Development in British Columbia have returned the children to their father and the Children's Commission is investigating the 15 breaches I have submitted as the non-custodial parent.
After my in-laws wanted me to financial support them with $250/mo they (my ex and his brother in law (then the Director of Religious Services for the province) went to Stevenson, Luchies and Barristers and Solicitors, one of the most highly adversarial law firms in Victoria, BC. (Check out their advertising in the local paper for evidence to support this statement.)
Dan McLeod, the lawyer representing me refused to go to the court with my instruction to obtain MEDIATED access, rather than the typical 'reasonable and generous access'. (He told the care provider the judge would not honour her evidence as she did not have childcare credentials. This same care provider had refused to provide evidence that the father was in fact the 'day-to-day' care provider as he had professed to be.)
Carol Caramack, a counselor recommended by the family doctor (Dr. Phillip Kelly) had my son prepare a calendar which would demonstrate when my son wanted to be with mom, and when with dad. My son at the time did not have the mental capacity to understand that each time he allocated more time to his mother, his father would get upset. Furthermore, my son was angry that he was taken to a 'Family Counsellor' and that I was not included in the sessions because my son considered me to be a part of his 'family'.
Mr. Luchies job was for the client, NOT FOR THE BEST interests of the children. He himself created the adversarial climate and the fact the father was diagnose with a dependant personality and the lawyer took advantage of this 'dependancy', which had shifted from his family to the lawyer. (I did go to MCFD realizing this was causing a problem for resolution with custody and access, however the social workers involved only created a more adversarial climate and I through Freedom of Information the records to prove this. One comment written by social worker Mary Casselman states she was in fact doing the father's and the lawyers 'dirty work'. )
As a mother, who had been educated and forfeited some of her physical family time with her eldest child through the parenting agreement with her partner, was to have time at home when the second child was born. The father refused to provide this to me when his parents and siblings pressured him to support the family plan to buy a condominium. (Leaky condo problems were rampant in Victoria at the time so that is not where I wished to invest.)
Note, I will never support in-laws for a life style choice, as my children's life-style and standard of living comes first. Had they needed money, of course, I would have provided, as I would for my own parents.
Dr. Stangland did not include in his child custody and access report any of this financial pressure I was being subjected to by the extended in law family.
He sanitized the report to exclude this information and NEVER USED ANY OF MY AFFIDVITS for his report. (Comments from lawyer Rebecca Faber indicates Dr. Stangelands own daughter committed suicide.....this lawyer refused to return to court and review the records in order to have the Appeal process implemented. Ironically, so I am told, this lawyer doesn't even speak with her child's father......she once screamed at me that nothing would change until I stopped hating my children's father.....although I know I have never hated him, but deplore some of his and his family's actions.
Dr. Stangeland over-charged and the lawyers involved refused to recover the over charge. Together they planned so that I could not have the evidence in court which elaborated of the $5K which was taken from an elderly woman at Royal Jubilee Hospital. (How is this in the best interests of society to have this evidence excluded from the court case?)
When I realized the lawyer was extorting me of my family's funds (he had now had a record of ALL THE FAMILY ASSETS) and he had made what appeared to be a this 'sweetheart deal' with the psychologist, he dropped me as his client because I refused to provide him with $12K. He already had taken $20K and I realized the game he was playing with Tyler Luchies. I even went to another lawyer here in town (who had been practicing for two years having worked as a secretary in a law firm before returning to school) and she claimed she could do my case for the same $12K which the previous lawyer wanted me to pay UP FRONT.
Neither lawyer was looking out for the best interests of my children, but rather the best interests of their pocket book. Realizing this, I was hesitant to be involved with any part of the litigation of this case.
I then went to the Ministry for Children and Family Development to explain the public was not being protected because the Ministry of Attorney General allows the two self regulating bodies to operate without a system in place to protect the public from the over-charging and collusion. The CD Howe report had identified that of all marriages, 50% end in divorce and of those 10% are highly adversarial.
The MCFD became involved, as they can apprehend children based on hearsay legislation. The Men's Group here in Victoria reported that I was suicidal and mentally ill. (thank you Art Lowe) Eleven children are removed daily and the court judges merely 'whitewash' the decisions of the social workers who have unbriddled delegated power. There is no controls within government policy to ensure this delegation is handled in an honest, ethical manner. In fact, the legislation exempts these 'professionals' from personal liability.
My sons were taken into 'care' after a police incident in which the Central Saanich police severed a report which enabled Crown to lay two criminal charges against me. These charges were laid to appease the social worker Mary Casselman, who was I believe traumatically stressed with her own personal issues.
She told my son I had given her a note which said I was going to kill myself. Under the law, 'hearsay evidence' is allowed. This social worker emotionally abused my child and it took my son from April to December to tell me 'he had to know the truth'.
My youngest child was returned to his father within a week after the police incident. The presentation forms prepared by social workers are in no way representative of the police reports covering the same incidents.
Note, I had gone into court without a lawyer based on information provided by Dr. Laura Mills who now oversees the HARC program at the Queen Alexander Centre for the MCFD. She told me Dr. Stangeland's report was a good one and that it identified me as the parent having more to offer the children over the long run. (Dr. Mills later provided input into the Ministry's report which excluded all records from me.....what a waste of professionals' time and expertise.)
Mr. Edwards, the judge overseeing the case, covered up the evidence which proved the psychologist received evidence from a woman who was suffering from a 'mood disorder'. This woman worked at the day care my son attended and had not been approved to provide this information by Farmer in the Dell owner/operator. (This operator is a social worker who refused to work for the ministry and herself was dragged through the law courts twenty years ago....nothing seems to change here in Victoria.....) The judge was wise enough to know NOT to read the doctor's medical certificate into the transcript.
Tyler Luchies gave the judge information such that I would not co-parent. I agreed to have the children with their father for a week at a time, but the lawyer purposely omitted this information, as it would allow his client to obtain custodial rights. I wanted my children to be with me when it was the father's time and he was a work. This would maximize my children's parental time, but naturally, would not be suitable for a client to obtain custody, hence the rationale to have this information excluded from the evidence provided to the judge.
Having to represent myself in court was a traumatic
experience to learn of the dishonest approach by the lawyer. I did this based on
two points, one: to save the family assets and because the psychologist told me
the report favored me as the custodial parent. Previously the lawyer had told me
NOT to work as that would give me more of a chance to have my time with the
boys. Ironically, the decision posted at
The Law Society has protected every lawyer for which I have put in a complaint here in Victoria and furthermore when I returned to court Gerald Lowster rescheduled my court date, as the court does not have a system in place to prevent lawyers 'tampering' with the dates in court. In fact, the court system is set up so that the lawyers control the scheduling and the average citizen doesn't have appropriate scheduling input. Complaints about the administration of the courts are merely returned with feeble excuses for a judiciary rampant with injustice and corruption.
Many of the other cases use legal aid funding so their is a vested interest to keep the adversarial court system operational. Until the public refuses to support such nonsense by the judiciary, much of the taxpayers money will go to supply leather shoes to lawyers, rather than food and clothing for many marginalized families.
To date, my eldest child was forced to be in foster care for over 16 months even though the school principal interfered with my son's privacy and intercepted my sons wishes to have his mother assist him through a friend. (According to the legislation this is the timeframe children can be in care and dragged through the court system.)
Now the principal is accusing me of unfounded allegations and is adversarial and biased with the case. (Perhaps Mr. Scigliano can understand how parents who have had their children needlessly apprehended feel. I must commend the guidance counselor Gary Rivers who TRIED to make an effort to resolve the family conflict......even when providing my child inaccurate human rights information.)
My son was returned to his father's care this past August and Eugene Raponi placed a restraining order on me, three days before my son turned twelve. This is a lawyer who claims to be a mediator, yet uses adversarial destructive tools to 'assist' his young clients. (Mr. Raponi stated that the way the courts had treated me had been done to men for years. This does not in any way make it right the way the courts have treated me and my children.) I returned to court opposing this return of the child against his wishes, but the representative I used was told by Judge Wayne Smith that she could not represent me.... ironically this woman, having gone public with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation had her two sons apprehended last Friday and their lawyer is now warning them NOT to get the media involved....it only harms them as they must deal with the abusive ministry....
My son had been told by both his parents that at this age he could then decide where he wished to live. (Unfortunately my son did provide input into the divorce, but children are not legally a party to the divorce itself. The alienation the father believed was coming through me, was in fact directly a result of his involvement with the church parishioners and his lawyer....perhaps the children remember the unreasonable efforts made by their father to remove them from their mother and chasing my son around a parking lot to convince him to stay....or maybe it was pastor Auntie Karen telling Carlton he would never go to Disneyland with his father if he did not do what he was told.....my son never did get to Disneyland as the foster family left him behind when they took their own children......what does this do to a child's self esteem, while he is in 'care' of our government?...)
My son was deeply saddened to have the church parishioners praise and shake his father's hand for 'winning custody' in court. At seven years of age my son came home from church to tell me the people were 'hypocrites'. As a mother, I only listened to the comments.....that to me is being a 'good' parent.
I cannot think of a more unchristian way of acting, but this typifies some of the actions I was opposed to while attending the Lutheran Church.
As it stands, I locked the NISIKA worker out of my home on May 11th (the last NISIKA worker died of a seizure, no doubt possibly from the stress the ministry was applying on him to provide very unbiased reports.) and the RCMP refused to document that I CALLED the RCMP after locking out the young worker as my children's rights were continuously being violated.
(Constable Connolly claims my insistence to have this information recorded accurately is 'insignificant'.
Since when is a mother calling for assistance and protection for her children 'insignificant'? Why was my telephone call to the police not recorded, particularly when I made it in front of the children to teach them they should call the police for help? The police stations work in collusion with the ministry to apprehend, knowing full well many of these children will once again keep their men and women busy...See the five-minute video 'Bad Kids, How to Create a Criminal. for more details
The Children's Commission have 15 breaches of Section 70 violations, but this gives lttle comfort to a mother when their Annual Report 2000 states over 387 allegations (Page 26 of Blueprint for British Columbia's 'For a Better Future for British Columbia's Children and Youth....of breaches of rights have taken place.
Little is done with a ministry vested with little power to forge change and policy direction.
In closing, mediation is necessary for families to appropriately move through restructuring. A Better Lawyer Bureau is necessary to be operated by the public, just as we have a Better Business Bureau.....self regulation is self serving and our government is truly not looking out for the common good of society...
Article 32 of the UN Rights for the Convention of the Child states 'children will not be used for financial exploitation......' Well, that is exactly what I have been lobbying to have changed here in British Columbia. Such a pity we can no longer generate the economy with fishing, mining and lumbering. Children have become the most vaulable asset to generate the economy for lawyers, social workers and psychologists!
Children/Birth Date: Patrick, 1990
Date Separated: 1993
My son's name is Patrick and because he wants to come home he has been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder [he misses his mom to much - ed]. His paternal aunt was looking into therapy rebirthing [the child is wrapped up in a sheet]. Senator Debra Ortiz's office was able to intervene for me. Not only is this family warped he lives with the family of a registered sex offender
My parental rights were severed in 1999, On Sept 19, 2001 I filed a writ of Habeas Corpus based on ineffective counsel which I retained. I had dismissed 3 court-appointed attorneys and had retained my own In March 1999 one of my children Seth (now age 5) was returned to my custody) with the help of Governor Gray Davis ,along with God. 6 months later my right were severed to my oldest son Patrick and placed at extreme risk with a his paternal family.
Name: Laurie Edberg Location: Courtenay, BC, Canada
Email Addr: email@example.com
Date Separated: June 1, 2002
Current Status: My court date has been moved up to Oct 25, 26 of 2004. I'M requesting support.
My story can be found at www.disabledparents.mysite.ws My visits now are once a week, supervised for two hrs.
Children/Birth Date: Kristian Raymond Johnson (1990)
Date Separated: May 23, 1996
On May 23, 1996 I received a phone call from an attorney whom I knew, informing me that what he had done was illegal and I needed to come to the court and pick up the order I was now to live under. I have a child born out of wedlock which was born in Washtenaw County. When I arrived at the court clerk to meet the attorney he handed me a paper which stated I agreed to never go back for child support, limited visitation with my child and to pay for the cost of a psychological evaluation with the Senior Psychologist for Oakland County.
This attorney and another attorney had walked into the center of circuit court and the Chief Judge Hon. Barry L. Howard allowed this without inquiry as to the Paternity of the child or how the birthing and confinement expenses were paid. The court gave me less than 12 hours a week with my child when I was never served, had never signed a paper, this attorney did not file an appearance in my behalf or have power of attorney, and there were no police reports or charges filed against me.
The reason for this was I was on the Exception List for Michigan as I paid all birthing and confinement expenses and the child was less than 6 years old. I paid for legal representation and had none. I was kept out of court until I paid $1,500 for an evaluation with Senior Psychologist Julian Gordon who was under investigation and went to prison for child molesting. He mailed this evaluation to the Family Counselor Janey Lee before he went to prison. The evaluation stated I was to have more time with my child immediately or he was to be given back and the Father had exploited me financially and not reimbursed me for medical. The Family Counselor wrote that I should be responsible to take my child to the doctor and for haircuts. The court changed custody of my child born out of wedlock without paternity established with the court or an evidentiary hearing.
I was never allowed to use the court or Friend of the Court services. A Consent Judgment was entered on a motion without the Prosecuting Attorney or Attorney for the FOC having any information on my case. This Judgment took away my rights to use the court and FOC services. My story is very overwhelming. My child had to be removed from Pine Knob Elementary, spend a week in a daycare at a mental institution and was diagnosed with an Adjustment Disorder by the Chief of Child Psychiatry. I took my child to outpatient counseling. The Family Counselor asked the second Judge that my case was reassigned to take away my rights to visitation with my child for 3 months although another Psychologist had stated the Father was a bad parent and this was not a divorce and recommended the case be corrected by the court.
The court kept ordering Psychologists and never asked for the recommendations but entered the psychologists names anyway. I paid 4 attorney's who intentionally did not enter any papers in my behalf to request the court discuss law or legal rights. The Internal Revenue Service made me go through an Administrative Audit because the court never bothered to ask how I file my taxes and ruled without requesting any information on my case or holding any of the proper hearings. I was allowed to keep the deduction.
Finally after several years of being denied any legal rights and blocked from using the court services I contacted the Administration for Children and Families in Washington and reported my case problem. I informed the ACF I was having problems with Oakland County who was not certified and participating with the federally mandated child support program and the State of Michigan had paid the Alternative Systems Penalty. The ACF requested Wallace Dutkowski, Director SOCS/FIA in Lansing investigate my problems. I received notice from the State of Michigan Family Independence Agency that this is supposed to be a cooperative effort of the FIA, Prosecuting Attorney and Friend of the Court by way of this letter my complaint was being forwarded to the State Court Administrator's Office in Lansing as they are the regulatory agency over the State Court's in Michigan and would be better equipped to handle this inquiry.
Chief Judge Hon. Barry L. Howard was required to meet with Gov. John Engler and 2 Chief Justices January 2001 and was informed there was a case that is a problem and possible civil rights. In February Chief Judge Hon. Barry L. Howard was retired to work as an attorney in commercial law. In February State Court Administrator John Ferry, Jr. issued me a request for investigation of the court pursuant to MCR 8.113. I received a letter from Regional I Administrator Delores Van Horn that there would be inquiry with the Chief Assistant Oakland County FOC as to what the court should do about my case. I received a letter from the FOC that the case was amiss and out of their control. The State Court Administrator dropped the investigation after the FOC admitted the case was a problem and did not refer the matter to the Judicial Tenure or Attorney Grievance Commission for further investigation. In March county executive Brooks L. Patterson made Hon. Barry L. Howard sign the memorandum of understanding to join the federally mandated child support system and the Michigan Supreme Court gave the Chief Judge position to Hon. Joan Young who Oakland Court Administrator Kevin Oeffener had answering my grievances after he realized that Chief Judge Barry Howard had ordered hearings and knowing those hearings were never held had entered a Judgment.
Chief judge Hon. Barry L. Howard was the President of Chief Judges in Michigan and had just given a speech to the SOCC on pay increases. The State of Michigan is very aware of my problem case which has been passed back and forth between Wallace Dutkowski Director SOCS/FIA, John Ferry Jr. State Court Administrator and contact for Michigan government funded programs, Douglas E. Howard State of Michigan FIA, Governor John Engler, Lynda Crandal, Administration FIA, Congressman Dale Kildee. Nothing has changed in my case so I contacted the ACF and requested a federal audit as James Bellinger Audit Manager Auditor General's Office informed me that Oakland County is not complying with the Performance Audits of the Child Support Program required by the Performance and Incentives Act. I was informed that Region V HHS the federal division over MI child support program in Chicago IL had received information on my case and was reviewing it. I have also contacted the U.S. Dept. of Justice to inquire as to what can be done for Oakland County entering an adverse Judgment that took away my legal rights to use the court services. I have been abused so badly in Oakland that even when I requested a transcript the court reporter wrote his attorney was my attorney. For some reason Oakland County cannot be mean enough or humiliate me enough.
I am a Registered Nurse and my doctor was the Chief of the OB Dept. for St. Joseph Mercy Hospital in Ann Arbor. Since I contacted the Administration for Children and families in August of 2000 the Courts in Michigan were threatened to comply with the federal laws and there have been several articles by the Oakland Press and an entire project by the Detroit News on Unfriendly Court Broken system cheats families. I have been unable to find anyone to assist me with my problems with the State of Michigan so I have pursued the matter with the federal government.
Children/Birth Date: Brad (1992)
Date Separated: August 18, 1999
On May 13, 2000 at 6AM in the morning my door bell rang. My then seven-year old grandson was standing at my door with a stranger, wearing a T-shirt, underwear and socks. The stranger informed me that she had found this child 3 miles from my home riding his bike. The child gave the stranger directions to my home. While the stranger was at my home I telephoned my Attorney, the police and CPS.
The reason the Police and CPS was called in October 1999 is that I had my estranged daughter arrested after she had threatened to kill me. I had informed her in August 1999, that I would no longer support her financially. The good Judge "haha" did not give me the opportunity to present the taped messages that was left on my answering machine. He placed a five year restraining order on my daughter, her children and I. Before this time, my grandson had lived with me since birth.
The police arrive at my home at 6:15AM and I gave them the name, address, telephone number of the stranger. Four hours later the child was returned home. On May 15, 2001, I met the worker that this case was assigned to. Sasha Shaw was unprofessional, incompetent, racist and belligerent. I addressed letters to the Director of Social Services, Commissioner, Governor, and a letter to the Judge that had placed this 5 year restraining order. Needless to say Sasha Shaw was not removed from the case. On May 21, 2000, I was visited by the police detective Chris Phillips. He stated the child had said that I came into his room while he was asleep and removed him from his bed. Chris Phillips did not inform me that my daughter Samantha Daniels had a warrant issued against me for abduction and violation of a restraining order.
On May 25,2000, I received a call from the child requesting that my husband and I come get him. The CPS worker was informed that night of the call, a message was left on her voice mail.
May 27, 2000, the child runaway again. This time he rides his bike 6 miles to my home. Being that I do not like Police, my husband and I carried the child to the Police department. The Police allowed my husband and I to keep the child. Monday May 29,2000 was a holiday, so on Tuesday May 30, 2000 the child was carried to CPS. The worker Sasha Shaw was too busy to speak with me. On May 30, 2000, my husband received a call from his command. (My husband is in the Navy). He was on vacation, he was ordered to come to the base because they had received a call from my daughter Samantha Daniels indicating that he had abducted and molested her son. My husband, Mother, the child, and myself went to speak with the officers. The child told the officers that he had runaway. We were allowed to leave the command. On June 1, 2001 the child was removed from my home by Sasha Shaw, Megan Morrison and three policemen in three cars. I was served a warrant to appear in court on June 7, 2000. The charges of abduction and violation of restraining order was dismissed. The Judge then placed a restraining order on my husband and my 85 year old mother. On July 15, 2000 while at work I receive a call from Michelle Dexter a Social worker with CPS. She informed me that I was to have an interview with a detective O'hara and her, because she had received allegation of me abducting and molesting my seven-year old grandson. The person who made the allegations was my daughter, and the mandated reporter was again the incompetent Sasha Shaw. The fraudulent allegations were "unfounded" on September 6, 2000, I was not informed that the case was unfounded until November 6, 2000. I was warned by Michelle Dexter to keep my mouth shut. I have addressed letters to every newspaper in Virginia and Washington, Congress, our previous President, City of Virginia Beach officials. Va. Beach CPS replies that I need to have a relationship with my daughter. I do not want a relationship with someone who would work this hard to destroy your life.
On July 13, 2001, Virginia Beach CPS faxed information to my employer, to have me terminated. I have passed and mailed flyers in Virginia Beach that indicates corruption in the Police, Judicial system and CPS. I will continue until justice is served. I have recently discovered that the Police Chief requested a meeting with the Director of Social Services services. I also have information that the workers addressed faxes to City Attorney wanting to know how they can stop me. I consider this a threat on my life. All my conversations with CPS is on tapes, I also have a tape recorded conversation with a police detective.
On May 8, 2001 , I petitioned circuit court to receive the names of the mandated reporter and the person who made the allegations. This request was denied. On September 16, 2001, I file a motion of discovery due to fraudulent information, the Judge refused to put it on the docket.
I will continue to expose this corruption until my daughter the workers are brought to justice .