From jmurtari at AKidsRight.org Wed May 2 20:28:25 2007 From: jmurtari at AKidsRight.org (John Murtari) Date: Wed, 2 May 2007 20:28:25 -0400 Subject: [AKidsRight.Org] Washington Rally/ Heroes in Canada/ Klein for President/ Parent in jail Message-ID: <17977.11433.582997.708882@hammer.thebook.com> Good People & People of Faith, This message has info on: 0. Mother's Day - any events? 1. Activity in Canada - Superheroes in action! 2. Rally in Washington - August 18th 3. Klein for President - video. 4. LEAD Day in Albany, NY - May 29 5. Our Rally in Syracuse - under construction/in July. 6. Indiana parent in prison - 2.5 years for support! 7. Quote worth re-quoting - on equality. 0. Mother's Day - any events? ----------------------------- Haven't seen any email regarding events planned for Mother's Day in support of our right to be presumed FIT & EQUAL parents? If there are events planed, please let us know the details by completing the event form at http://www.AKidsRight.Org/events.htm We'll try to get a message out with any announcements by Thursday of next week. 1. Activity in Canada - Superheroes in action! --------------------------------------------- Submitted by: "Kris Titus" bigwonderwoman at gmail.com Batman and WonderWoman showed up at 393 University Avenue just about the time Batman and Robin made their great escape from the OPP atop the 404. There were many 'spectators' and many who willingly accepted our literature. Security came out to poke around, but that was it. At 9:30 the superheros changed back into their real identities to bring the message to Queen's Park where Kris Titus participated in a joint press conference about Parental Alienation Awareness that had Sarvy Emo ( Co-Founder of Parental Alienation Awareness Organization ) Dr. Marty McKay ( Psychiatrist ) Chaplain Bruce Smith ( who works with troubled youths ) David Osterman ( President, Fathers Are Capable Too ) and myself. We will be getting a video I will try to make available. Kris Titus National Coordinator Fathers 4 Justice Canada krist at fathers-4-justice-canada.ca 1-877-F4Justice --- Submitted by: Robert Robinson, "Burnaby Batman" Greetings Liberators from Fathers4Justice Canada and the Burnaby Bat. First off I would like to thank all F4J team members coast to coast for your dedication and commitment to our cause. You Rock........... Today Fathers4Justice superheroes were out in force across Canada in support of Parental Alienation Day Internationally. Today another unknown Superhero "The Saskatoon Dad" was in court attempting to regain access to his son. Need I say more? The same unknown Dad who will be rocking with the rest of his comrades coast to coast, with F4J banner sent to him and personally signed by the F4J superhero team in Vancouver BC. Vancouver BC superheroes, The BC Hulk(Kevin Chrisiaens), Metropolis Superman (Murray Williams) and Canada's First Batman (Robert Robinson) ascended upon the pedestrian overpass in Stanley Park Vancouver,only minutes from the Lions Gate bridge. Our superheroes remained perched upon the over pass for over an hour in the pouring rain and cold. Traffic quickly came to a slow crawl with people literally stopping there vehicles to take pictures of the spectacle before them. Agent Susi Q, only 5 minutes after having dropped off our team at the strike zone, heard radio news reports that traffic was being obstructed by Fathers4Justice superheroes in Stanley park. This continued for the duration of our stay on several different radio stations. Apparently several media sources also turned out but were out of position when it came to approaching us, due to excessive traffic back log. One radio station announced that police were already on their way to the scene. It was only upon leaving did we see two police cruisers with lights on, heading to our location,lol. Nonetheless today's actions were a complete success, with 6 F4J Canada teams across the country participating. I have included some pictures of today's action in Vancouver BC, enjoy. Another positive today was meeting a gentlemen who turned out to our event who had spent 5 days protesting outside of a court in Calgary Alberta, who like many of us has an equally shocking story to tell and who like some of us is prepared to take his quest for equality to new heights. Welcome aboard Chris. In general the public was overwhelmingly supportive with more people than I can possibly count giving US the thumbs up, taking pictures,cheering us on, and encouraging our continued commitment to equality for all families. Way to go Vancouver - You Rock. Again thanks to all those who participated. Together We Will Change The World. Best Wishes: Robert Robinson -(Burnaby Batman) - National Action Director - Fathers4Justice Canada - 1-877-345-8784-Ext.915 --- Submitted by: Stephen Hodges "Spiderman" "It's now 6:55, & I just got back from a damp 3 hours of successful work. I hung my banners across the Island Highway at about 3:40, got interviewed by a newsie, and never once saw a policeman. Once I'd lost feeling in my fingertips, I quit, then I realized I'd been out there for 3 full hours ! I got a lot of good response from the drivers, & *feel good about what I did* ." 2. Rally in Washington - August 18th ------------------------------------ This is probably one of the largest parent's rallies to be held this year. The 18th is a Saturday so it should be easy for people to get there, they also plan on helping with transportation. The main web site for the rally is: http://www.dcrally2007.com/ It is being coordinated by Minister Ron Smith who is from Chicago. It is easy to register at the web site and I'm sure he would welcome your help. He is a powerful speaker, you can see one of his presentations on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QHZWxOYqRw Some brief background on Rev. Smith: The founder and CEO of Children Need Both Parents, Inc., a non-profit 501(c)(3) based in Chicago but headquartering in Grand Rapids, Mi. since 1993. He is the father of two adult sons. Minister Smith has spent the past 14 years working with parents who are divorcing or separating to help bring them to an amicable situation in regards to maintenance of the relationships between children and both parents. Children Need Both Parents, Inc. provides food for families in need and work out agreements with child support and shared parenting between couples . Minister Smith serves as a Community Representative with DHS in the Family to Family program which is a panel that assists in the adoption process. He was chosen as one of 23 people nationwide who makes a difference in the community by Dr. Pepper in 2006. Minister Ronald E. Smith is a graduate of the University of Michigan-Dearborn and attended Illinois Institute of Technology Chicago. He has spent 13 years as Mental Health Professional with the Community Mental Health Council in Chicago as well as 5 years as a Psychiatric Rehabilitation Therapist with Human Resource Developmental Institute (HRDI). Minister Smith has been Assistant to the First Deputy Commissioner in the Department of Aviation City of Chicago and has served as a Substitute Teacher in the Chicago Public School System. --- Submitted by: "Bill Tower" President AFRA (AMERICAN FAMILY RIGHTS ASSOCIATION) http://www.familyrightsassociation.com/ All right everybody the RALLY is on and the Date to set your plans on is August 18th 2007. This rally will start at 9:00 a.m. est. and be on going all day. So pack a lunch bring water to drink and join us to get the word to Congress that we are not satisfied with the way that the Health and Human services Department and the Family Courts are running the system that was supposed to protect children and Families "all involved in the family". The Courts were supposed to be the safety net and they have failed the PEOPLE. Bring your story done in 20 (twenty) pages or less and take it to one of the tents to register in and get it on the Official Record with Congress. Also review the http://www.dcrally2007.com/ web site for updates. There will also be a format for your story to be put into posted on that website. We have many Great organizations from all across the United States getting together for this event. And also have planned to have Officials there to talk to the People (us). We need a great show of support on this event and I am sure that all that can attend will be there. This is the next big CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT so get on board and help out, show your support and do your part after all it is really for the children (yours and your grandchildren) so as Larry the cable guy says "GIT IT DONE" we will see you all there. 3. Klein for President - video ------------------------------ Dr. Mark Klein is considering a run for President, you can check his website out at: http://klein4change.in2006.us/ One of his goals is federal EQUAL PHYSICAL CUSTODY ACT that would mandate states to enact a rebuttal presumption of joint physical custody in divorce. He also has a BLOG at: http://www.drmarkklein.blogspot.com/ For a video of Dr. Klein during a news interview at the Republican National Leadership Conference see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oQdn6NvhIU 4. LEAD Day in Albany, NY - May 29 ---------------------------------- Submitted by: "Greg Fischer Children's Lobbyist" Event Description: LEAD Day --- YOUR DAY TO LOBBY THE GOVERNMENT! What: LEAD Day --- YOUR DAY TO LOBBY THE GOVERNMENT! When: Tuesday, May 29, 9:00 AM Where: http://www.fafny.org/ or check link below There will be chartered buses at low cost. This is the chance to actually talk to and influence the decision makers. Please SIGN UP NOW ! For the children, Greg Fischer "The Children's Lobbyist" 631-384-9559 Learn more here: http://fathersrights.meetup.com/186/calendar/5557568/ 5. Our Rally in Syracuse - under construction/in July. ----------------------------------------------------- We had planned to rally a group of moms and dad outside the offices of Sen. Clinton in Syracuse, New York. There is quite a bit of construction going on in front of the building and it looks like we won't be able to get a permit date until early July. More details once we get the date finalized. 6. Indiana parent in prison - 2.5 years for support! ---------------------------------------------------- Please review the info below and write to Chris if you can. I talked to his mother on the phone, it is a sad situation. To avoid an earlier support problem he accepted probation, ended up he could not comply with the terms and the Judge threw the book at him with a huge sentence. You can write Chris at the following address (to send him a little spending money it must be a Postal Money Order made out to his name): Christopher Hertsel LaGrange County Jail 0875 S SR 9 LaGrange, IN 46761 --- Richard & Dianne Hertsel > ... I would appreciate it if you could give me some advice. > My son is 26 years old & the father of 2 boys ages 5 & 6 with > different mothers. He has never had the privilege of living with > them or being a father to them yet has been ordered through the > courts to pay close to $200.00 weekly. Chris, my son suffers from > chronic depression, anxiety attacks & possibly bipolar. He has never > been on medication. He has not seen either son since 2004. Both > mothers refuse to let him see the boys. > The mother of the 5 year old had him arrested & put in jail March > 12, 2007. On March 14 the judge sentenced him to 2.5 years in a > Indiana Prison. They say he owes over $11000.00. Chris has a hard > time getting & keeping a job because of his condition. He lacks self > confidence & has alot of phobias about being around people. > Today he received a letter from an attorney about the 6 Year old boy > re: the stepfather adopting him. They also want to change his name > from Jacob Christopher to Jacob Michael the stepfathers middle > name. I called several attorneys today & if we get any legal help > with this situation it will take quite a bit of money which we don't > have. > I can't work because of health reasons & my husband works 2 jobs. A > 3rd shift road driver for Fed Ex and a minister of a church. We have > to drive 120 miles round trip to see Chris in jail for a half hour > on Sunday evening. Our son has been deprived of his freedom without > a fair trial. We don't even have any rights as grandparents. Is > there any possible hope or solution for our problem. They say even > if he signs over his rights he still owes over $20000.00 in back > support. How can this be.? The legal system in Indiana & Michigan is > horrible. Can you please advise us as to what we can do to help our > son? He is not a criminal & he doesn't deserved to be locked > up.Thank you very much for taking the time to read this. We're > desperate & we want our son back home with us. > Sincerely, > Richard & Dianne Hertsel > Centre Avenue Church of God http://dmin.org/fs/index.php?id=cacog > Portage, MI 7. Quote worth re-quoting - on equality. --------------------------------------- Submitted by: Teri Stoddard "The ideas on the equality of rights between men and women have been marked by an antagonistic approach which exalts opposition between them...Success in the quest for equality and the empowerment of women can best be achieved when such antagonism gives way to mutual respect and recognition of the identity and the role of one towards the other." - Archbishop Celestino Migliore, 03.08.07 Best regards! -- John Murtari ____________________________________________________________________ Coordinator AKidsRight.Org jmurtari at AKidsRight.Org "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents" Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211) http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ From jmurtari at AKidsRight.org Sun May 13 16:36:07 2007 From: jmurtari at AKidsRight.org (John Murtari) Date: Sun, 13 May 2007 16:36:07 -0400 Subject: [AKidsRight.Org] Best Wishes for a Happy Mother's Day! Message-ID: <17991.30391.700571.309301@hammer.thebook.com> Good People & People of Faith, Best wishes for a Happy Mother's Day! A special greeting to those of you who may not have even see your children; who have not received a card from your little ones because your former spouse is blind to your value as a parent. For all those "awkward" moments this day can bring: "Did your kids send you flowers?", "I got a beautiful card from my daughter, how about you?", "We are all going out for dinner tonight, and you?" A VERY special greeting to those who have to deal with family members & friends who say, "Just try to accept it, life goes on!", "I'm sure whatever happened was for the best...." Please understand they just don't know. Would you have used those words in talking to: A slave in the 1850's? A black forced to the "back of the bus" in the 1950's? Admit it, maybe you would have -- until you experienced it first hand. We open the door to reform when we demonstrate the power of our love. When we stop seeking to be the ONLY parent to our children, but an EQUAL parent. If they stick a camera in your face and ask you "why?". Don't waste your 20 seconds on hate for your former spouse, the social worker, judges or lawyers. Tell them about your great love for your kids -- even better, show them.... That is what NonViolent Action is all about. That with real Faith, real Love, and real Sacrifice, real miracles can happen. But you have to believe and act, then noble dreams take on flesh and become reality. http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil.htm "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its passion unyielding as the grave. It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned." -- Song of Songs 8:6-7 VERY SAD THOUGHTS - RUNNING THE TRAINS AT EACH OTHER, KIDS BETWEEN ------------------------------------------------------------------ Nice words above. Thoughts that should make us feel good. But what about these? Do we also share in what follows? The greatest weapon opponents of reform have is the ability to raise the "hot button" issue of making this a Mom v. Dad thing. But if you want to fight the battle: "Some Men can't even stand to look at a scene of Mother and Child happily together without some anger -- b$%tch! Dirty Feminists! And we're sure many Women have experienced the same after seeing THEIR child "taken" by a former husband... abusive control freak! Stupid Masculinist!" "Come on, admit it you Men, deep down, you KNOW you'd be the best parent! After all, who's the big bad hunter-gatherer! Ladies, that child came out of YOUR body -- their YOURS. After all possession is 9 tenths of the law! We're talking a biological reality here!" Sound funny? Well, here are some messages I have received that are real and maybe not so funny: --- From a Dad: Mothers are vengeful, hateful creatures. This so-called "Mothers Day" should be abolished. I would never do anything to help a mother. WOW, can you believe this guy? How many of us have at times begun to feel this way (perhaps replacing Fathers for Mothers?). How badly do you have to be kicked by the system before this happens to you? --- From a Mom: When men grow a uterus and begin to breast feed they will be equal to women. It is unnatural to support work against nature and natural development. Natural Child development is an area which critical to have well adjusted adults. How can you compare apples and oranges the baby is a part of the mother for almost a year in the womb 40 or so weeks on average, the mitochondrial DNA (where ATP the energy currency for all life force) is passed maternally. The child is more a part of the Mom than the dad... But I have news for you there are many more abusive emotionally disturbed men then there are women. This one hit home with me. How do you measure love? The weight of a uterus? Do we need to compare the love I have for my son, Domenic, with the love you have for your child -- want to both get in the street and yell: MINE IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!? Does that make any sense? How about the Declaration of Independence, "all men are created equal..." Is that crazy or what? Any hard science would quantify for you in a thousand different ways that we are NOT equal, in our intelligence, our emotional nature, our resistance to disease, and on and on.... The starting words of the Declaration, "We find these truths to be self evident..." The real truth. That when we reach deep enough into our physical nature and reach our spirits -- we are created brothers and sisters of the same loving God. Certainly equal in the opportunity to love and nurture our own children. Happy Mother's Day ------------------ Some people wonder what motivates me to do the things I do. Why take the risks? Those wonderful words in the 'Song of Songs' above. Just cute lyrics, or reality? When I'm willing to show loving sacrifice for the love of my child. I affirm the great love my mom and dad taught me. Happy Mother's Day! -- John Murtari ____________________________________________________________________ Coordinator AKidsRight.Org jmurtari at AKidsRight.Org "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents" Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211) http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ From jmurtari at AKidsRight.org Fri May 18 14:48:37 2007 From: jmurtari at AKidsRight.org (John Murtari) Date: Fri, 18 May 2007 14:48:37 -0400 Subject: [AKidsRight.Org] Canada Parade/ Baldwin/ Syracuse Rally/ People Magazine/ PA Quilt Message-ID: <17997.62725.324914.292174@hammer.thebook.com> Good People & People of Faith, This message has info on: 1. Join activity in Canada - May 21st parade. 2. Alec Baldwin and Parens Patriae - Stephen Baskerville 3. Syracuse Clinton Rally - July 31st? 4. 14% and you - your time as a parent? 5. Georgia Teenager for reform - in People magazine! 6. Join the Awareness Quilt - Parental Alienation. 7. New group - the Family Justice League! 1. Join activity in Canada - May 21st parade. -------------------------------------------- Submitted by: Burnaby Batman Greetings liberators from Vancouver BC and the Bat. I am sending this out as a reminder to everyone that once more Fathers4Justice Canada will be participating in one of Canada's most popular parades. "Island Farms Victoria Day Parade (May 21)" Location(s): Downtown Victoria along Douglas Street Victoria largest parade event, with over 150 entries, marching bands, floats, clowns etc. Over 120,000 spectators watch this popular annual event in person and on television. Fun for the whole family. For those who have not yet seen our footage that was aired on Check 6 in Victoria during last years parade please follow the link provided. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Goq1D4xUDs Last years event was a great success and we look forward to the same this year. Many thanks go to all those who are either contributing and or participating in this years event. May 22/2007 also marks the 3rd anniversary of the launching of the inaugural action of Fathers4Justice Canada in Burnaby BC. Happy Birthday Fathers4Justice Canada. In solidarity: Robert Robinson - National Action Director - F4J Canada - rob at fathers-4-justice-canada.ca 1-877-F4Justice Ext.915 2. Alec Baldwin and Parens Patriae - Stephen Baskerville -------------------------------------------------------- For a nice article by a reformer, parent, college professor and author, please check out this link for an article published at a very popular web site: http://www.lewrockwell.com/baskerville/baskerville12.html For those of you not up on your Latin, "Parens Patriae" captures the concept of Government as Parent. Our recent discussions certainly help make a distinction between many of us involved in reform. Those of you who think the "child's best interest" should be our goal or that kid's interests come FIRST, may automatically inject the authority of the state in making that distinction? Is that what we want? For others the real essence of reform is the strong presumption of two FIT & EQUAL parents -- government has the strong burden to prove parents criminally unfit before it can interject what it thinks is best... Children don't have a right to what's best in their lives or to choose between parents, they get what BOTH their parents can give..... that is what we have tried to capture in our Family Rights Act, http://www.AKidsRIght.Org/act.htm Your thoughts? 3. Syracuse Clinton Rally - July 31st? -------------------------------------- We are getting ready to file the permit request for the Syracuse, NY, Federal Building. Tuesday, July 31st looks like the date -- does anyone have any objections or better suggestions for a date? Details on what we have planned follow (you may want to try something similar in your area with a Presidential candidate): If you haven't seen it yet, please take a moment to see the Big Sister You Tube video at http://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=6h3G-lMZxjo She is actually saying the 'right things' and we are trying to convince her to meet with parents. To hear their stories of love & pain and how the 'system' came between them and their kids. It has been my personal focus for many of the NonViolent Actions I have been involved in, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/actionc_syr Please, let's not get angry at her or other politicians who don't seem to care -- they haven't been through it! Let's face it, most of us only got involved when the system hurt us......we need to help them feel what we are living .... We may be seeing a 'perfect storm' in our opportunity to get a Presidential Candidate to meet with parents on our issue. We are planning a quiet rally outside the Federal Building in Syracuse in an attempt to get Senator Clinton to meet locally with parents hurt by the system. This is not a 'protest'. Our goal is to get at least 20 Moms and Dads carrying just ONE thing, a nice picture of them/their children with the words I LOVE YOU & on reverse SENATOR CLINTON PLEASE HELP US. That is a big 'crowd' for Syracuse and I don't have any doubt the Newspaper and all three TV Network affiliates would cover it. While we are gathered people will be going into the Federal building 1 by 1 to personally deliver their 'petitions' for reform to the Senator's local office, and also to personally ask she meet with parents about abuses in the system, the need for a Congressional Investigation, and the potential need for a Family Rights Act. We don't want 'rabble rousers' or 'anti clinton' or 'father's rights' or 'mother's rights' to even come up. Just parents who love their kids entreating the Sen. to look at the issue. It might make some good video and give her a chance to 'join a dialog' on family law -- as good as her campaign folks are, to ignore pleading parents could turn into the 'Swift Boat' of her campaign. How do we make make a compelling political statement to Sen. Clinton and the other candidates? How about a peaceful group of loving parents, carrying pictures of their children. A group whose common sound 'bite' is: "I love my kids. Being separated from them was the most painful experience I have ever been through. I really believe our nation needs to recognize the rights of parents to be considered fit & equal in the lives of their children.... We hope to encourage Sen. Clinton to meet with parents hurt by the system. To hear their stories first hand... and to call for Congressional Hearings into the need for reform....and potentially a Family Rights Act." How is that going to look on the TV News. How would a candidates staff advice them regarding the wisdom of meeting with these parents? 4. 14% and you - your time as a parent? -------------------------------------- If you have time, I encourage you to check out http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NCP-TX-Grayson/message/200 written by Don Mathis , who thinks parents should be parents more than just 2 days out of 14. He writes from the Texas area. 5. Georgia Teenager for reform - in People magazine! ---------------------------------------------------- Submitted by: "Sam Sears" I wanted to let you know that the cause is thriving. Saturday afternoon People Magazine did a 2.5 hour photo shoot with Bill and I, followed by 2.5 hours of interview (Bill threw me out of the house for about 30 or 40 minutes). He was really on his game and both the interviewer and the photographer thought that he was very engaging. The interviewer indicated that it ranked as one of her favorite interviews she had done. The article will be coming out either this coming Friday or the following week. While either one is fine the following week is almost better as that will mean even more feature space. We will know for sure by mid week. ... ts the May 14 issue with Rachel Ray on the cover. It started hitting the newsstands last Friday. Check out page 131. Bill's web site -> http://www.billsarena.com/ 6. Join the Awareness Quilt - Parental Alienation. ------------------------------------------------- Submitted by Gail Head http://awarenessquilt.blogspot.com/ So many have asked if there is or was a website for the Awareness Quilt. Here it is. There are also new photos just taken of it. As you can see, it is getting large. In fact, I had to tape it to my 6 ft x 6 ft china cabinet in order to photo it. Take a look and if you like what you see, you are welcome to leave your comments. We will continue to add more photos as the quilt gets even larger in the days ahead. 7. New group - the Family Justice League! ----------------------------------------- Submitted by: Judi Smith-Phelps FJL http://www.fjl-us.org/ On behalf of my fellow board members, I am pleased to introduce you to the Family Justice League (FJL) FJL is dedicated to the fight for family law reform so that every child may enjoy the love of both parents and extended families following separation or divorce. FJL was created as a result of your overwhelming cries for a family rights organization that is truly representative of all victims of family court - with its core focus on the children. The FJL Web site is appropriate for people of all ages and offers activities that bring families together and encourages citizens to get involved in their communities via FJL sponsored events! FJL offers a global Events Calendar that invites all family rights organizations to come together as one by posting their events to our site and getting people involved in the fight for our children. FJL enjoyed an awesome debut yesterday at the Statehouse in Columbus, Ohio where we gathered with thousands of parents, children and legislators to rally for the right to preserve school choice in Ohio. Special thanks to the Smith kids and Dan and Connie Meyersburg and friends for their dedication to the cause!  Check out our Web site photo gallery for pictures. Join Family Justice League...where the children always come first. -- John Murtari ____________________________________________________________________ Coordinator AKidsRight.Org jmurtari at AKidsRight.Org "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents" Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211) http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ From jmurtari at AKidsRight.org Thu May 24 12:41:50 2007 From: jmurtari at AKidsRight.org (John Murtari) Date: Thu, 24 May 2007 12:41:50 -0400 Subject: [AKidsRight.Org] Albany LEAD, May 29/ NonViolent Action & Jail - background Message-ID: <18005.49230.764584.373453@hammer.thebook.com> Good People & People of Faith, [NOTE - a quick reminder of LEAD Day in Albany, NY. Tuesday, May 29th, 9am-4pm, Hearing room "C" of the LOB, more details at http://www.fafny.org/. Questions - contact Randy Dickinson or Greg Fischer Directions: http://assembly.state.ny.us/directions Senate Bill S1349: http://public.leginfo.state.ny.us/menuf.cgi I plan on being there, hope to see many of you! ] I'm coordinator for AKidsRight.Org, our method is NonViolent Action. It's based on the conviction that parents willing to demonstrate loving self-sacrifice are a key force for reform. We try to demonstrate to skeptical observers that the method works. For more background see: http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil.htm The Rest of the Story --------------------- Most of the newspaper and TV stories about my noncooperation during my 4 months of jail time last year were wrong with some major facts. While the web site had the complete rational, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/support_jm.htm -- most people didn't read the details. In the next few list messages I want to share personal thoughts on my experience. Everything else has been second hand and there were some crucial things missed. I want to avoid any false impressions. Since then several people have contacted me, a few said they were going to 'hunger strike' if jailed (but I didn't hear any more from them). One person tried to follow through when in jail, told the guards he would not eat. They asked him if he was trying to hurt himself, he said, "yes". They stripped him naked and put him in a padded cell. He changed his mind in about a day. As you read the messages of how things unfolded, some stupid things I did in jail -- my actions should also appear pretty 'regular'. NOT an 11th hour conversion --------------------------- This was not a snap decision on my part. It was something I had prepared for years in advance. NonViolent action is voluntary sacrifice, not an act of desperation. We have background on it above, we even have a preparation checklist, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/checklist.htm -- it may surprise you! NOT a Hunger Strike ------------------- This was the biggest conceptual problem. The classic 'hunger strike' is someone who refuses to eat (but continues to take fluids) while waiting for a demand to be met. I'll starve myself if you don't do what I want.... it can be effective in drawing public attention. In jails it is not uncommon for prisoners to strike and the medical staff usually has a hunger strike protocol they follow to monitor the person. You can survive a very long time without eating, as long as you drink, but you can destroy your body as it consumes itself in search of energy. Canada: http://www.csc-scc.gc.ca/text/plcy/cdshtm/825-cde_e.shtml Training -------- As many of you know I'm a graduate of our Air Force Academy and a former Air Force Instructor Pilot. I have been through some challenging training and difficult environments. A simulated POW camp where I ended up naked, blind-folded, slammed against a wall, and a guard with his dirty boot between my 'cheeks' and pressing my 'jewels' against the wall -- asking, "Will you sign the confession now criminal!?" I told him how many copies did he want. Don't squeeze! I had been jailed locally many time before, I knew the environment, knew many of the guards, and I had a good reputation with them. Non Cooperation with Jail ------------------------- In my other actions, http://www.AKidsRIght.Org/events.htm, my 'sacrifice' has been my freedom. I'm normally a 'model' prisoner and just do my time. But how to respond when the 'system' pulls you off the street and puts you in jail against your will? I had no desire to hurt myself. I'm a parent. I have a child to live for, but ... how do I call attention to the grave injustice/indignity done to me when I am thrown in jail and labeled a 'dead beat'? Also, what is the proper response for a person of Faith? My thought was to make myself a burden to the system. I would not follow the 'commands' of the guards, refuse to eat, and also refuse to drink voluntarily, until I was fed/hydrated by 'tubes' in a medical setting. I knew a hunger strike could easily last longer than a month, but by refusing water a crisis would result. I also relied on the fact the system had to take care of me as a prisoner. I was NOT trying to hurt myself, but I wanted them to feed me. I was NOT refusing care. I did some research myself. The greatest danger from lack of water is kidney failure (a serious problem). In an 'optimal' environment a healthy person could go 5 days without any serious trouble. Preparation and Planning ------------------------ >From my prior visits to jail and watching other problem prisoners I knew two things: 1) I could expect to be without communication with the outside world. No phone 'privileges'. 2) There would be an attempt to intimidate me and/or label me as some type of 'crazy'. I knew that no matter what I actually said, it could be distorted to fit their desire. I was fortunate to have a week to prepare myself for the jail sentence. I wrote a detailed letter to the Jail 'warden', http://www.AKidsRight.Org/support/cowin1.pdf and also to the Judge explaining exactly what I was going to do and why. I would bring a copy of the letter into the jail and gave it to staff. I talked to my son and explained to him what I had planed, not to worry, and that with Faith, everything would be okay. I contacted a few friends, local attorneys, who knew what I was planning and asked them to visit me during that crucial first week. It was important the jail know that this person's activities are being monitored from the outside. Lastly, I also made everyone aware via the group and some press releases were prepared. Sacrifice & Support & Faith --------------------------- We are a Civil Rights movement attempting to follow the peaceful & effective techniques of the past used by Gandhi & Martin Luther King. Those three concepts are crucial to success: Sacrifice - no GREAT CIVIL RIGHT has been won by talk alone, nor with a guarantee of success. In the 50's a Black who peacefully participated in a rally against segregation stood a good chance his home could be burned down by the Klan. At a recent parent's meeting I asked those assembled if they would attend a Rally for Family Rights, if it meant a chance they would lose their homes/job -- not one hand went up..... Support - for all the Black's who lived down South during the battle against segregation, very few actually participated actively and risked personal disaster. While some parents are willing to make a sacrifice, there are many, many more of us who can help by providing support to those individuals. Letters, contributions, public demonstrations are crucial. Faith - provides the confidence that justice will prevail. That there is a loving God who takes note of our actions and our pain. That we are struggling "FOR" our rights and dignity -- not fighting "AGAINST" other people who are our brothers and sisters. Do you have to talk about Faith & God stuff - it's distracting! --------------------------------------------------------------- We are not trying to 'convert' anyone as part of this mailing list. But we do talk about a historical reality and experiences with NonViolent Action -- the 'bottom line' is those earlier movements carried a strong element of Faith in a loving God. >From this experience I can very easily state that I would not have gone longer than about 3-4 days if I had not had my Faith. It is essential to anyone actually wanting to practice NonViolent Action. Probably the closest thing that might resonate with some modern spirituality is Stoicism, we have some excerpts from the writings of the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius that place a strong emphasis on civic duty: http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil_back.htm Next Message ------------- Will have some snippets of what went on inside the jail. -- John Murtari ____________________________________________________________________ Coordinator AKidsRight.Org jmurtari at AKidsRight.Org "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents" Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211) http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ From jmurtari at akidsright.org Sat May 26 11:19:06 2007 From: jmurtari at akidsright.org (John Murtari) Date: Sat, 26 May 2007 11:19:06 -0400 Subject: [AKidsRight.Org] NonViolent Action in Jail - Part II Message-ID: <18008.20458.862138.947494@hammer.thebook.com> Good People & People of Faith, This is a continuation of a prior message, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/archive/archive2007/0017.html, about NonViolent Action and the time I spent in jail last year. Again, I share this first hand view so others can understand what the experience was like, and also learn from my mistakes. This was an extreme action and something I normally don't do or recommend or want to repeat, but it may be appropriate in certain situations. The Bum's Rush -------------- A friend brought me to the jail on a Monday. We were both wearing coat & tie. I went up to the window, gave them my name and a letter saying I would not cooperate. I also told the guard at the window what I planned on doing. A little while later they told me to go through the doors for processing. I politely told them no. A few minutes more and another guard came through to talk to me. It happened to be someone I knew from one of my previous 'visits' (as I said before I am usually a model prisoner). He asked what was going on? I explained this was an unjust sentence, that my Civil Right to be presumed a FIT & EQUAL parent to my child had not only been violated -- it wasn't even recognized as existing... Of course, he told me I needed to be processed and this was going to make it 'difficult'. IMPORTANT - This was something I said a lot that day. I apologized for the inconvenience. I didn't mean to hassle them. I was not going to struggle with them or threaten them in any way -- I was just going to be passive. I would not voluntarily cooperate with injustice. A longer wait....the 'response' team came out and four of them held me by legs and arms and carried me into booking. For a while I actually hoped they might 'reconsider', but, that was the end of that.... They dumped me on the floor in booking and told me to get undressed. I repeated the message above. They stripped the clothes off me and I was naked on the ground with them standing above, it was humiliating. Finally, they threw me a jail 'jump suit' and said put it on, they left.... Not Self Torture ---------------- So far things had gone pretty much as I expected. I put the jump suit on. Why? My goal was to put pressure on them by noncooperation, the big part of my effort was going to be not eating/drinking until they took care of me. Being 'naked' or partially clothed was more inconvenient and a distraction for me. I will jump ahead briefly to the point where they put in a nasal-gastric feeding tube and met my fluid/nutrition needs. The Doctor told me it would 'help' if I drank fluids via my mouth to keep the outside of the tube clean as it passed down my esophagus. At each of the mealtimes I would drink a cup of clear broth and a cup of juice. Why? They had accepted the burden of caring for me via feeding tube; however, if I ignored their advice on how to avoid complications, I could have damaged my throat. I was not going that far..... The Padded Cell --------------- When they saw me in the jump suit, they were hopeful I would get up and continue processing. I did not. They carried me around. I would not answer their questions. Eventually they brought me to 'restrictive' housing. Someone finally got smart and put me in a wheel chair. It was one of the hottest days of the summer. They dumped me in one of the worst cells in the place, plastic covering the door, little ventilation, and just a padded cot in the middle. I just lay there after they put me down and relaxed. I was concerned because their was no air conditioning and I was sweating even with no activity. I knew I should have 5 days with no water in optimal conditions -- but this wasn't it! They brought me dinner. I just left it where they put it. There was a lot of noise in the 'bad boy' block, two guys next to me were yelling most of the night, one guy kept saying his rights were being violated, another one was complaining about medical attention and threatening to sue! It is not unique. I just kept quiet and didn't speak unless spoken to. At least the hard part (I thought) was over, it was now out of my hands. I had prepared the best I could and there was nothing left for me to initiate. I just lay on the padded cot and prayed. As a Catholic I'm familiar with the Rosary, a very repetitive prayer, and by counting on my fingers I would do several recitations. It was my common routine when left alone by them. Moved to a Medical Facility --------------------------- They brought me breakfast and lunch, I just ignored them. On Tuesday I did talk to a 'counselor' and let them know what I was doing. I was surprised I didn't feel hungry at all as I passed 24 hours without food or water. I guess I was more concerned about dehydration than food. The normal glucose range (I know now), is in the 70-110 range (mg/dl). They called me up to a nursing unit to have my blood sugar tested with one of those finger prick devices. They got a reading of 43. That appeared to concern them. About an hour later I was told I was going to be transported to downtown Syracuse, the jail there had doctors on staff and a complete medical floor. Just have a drink with me! -------------------------- By Thursday I was starting to feel it, my blood presser and pulse were both down. I began to have a fascination with water. I could take a shower and I would spend time just standing under the stream. I would open my mouth and just let it bounce around in my mouth. I would swish it and spit it out I kept a log, it was difficult to sleep or talk, I actually drank from 3-6 ounces/day then. My weight was really dropping mostly due to dehydration. The medical director spoke to me privately. She was very nice. She told me, "John, it's going to take us a while to get the medical kit we need to do a nasal-gastric tube. I don't want anything to happen to you...." Then she pulled out a cold bottle of water -- it looked great! "John, will you just drink this for me now?..." I said, "No." She talked to my about Kidney damage, and also about my son. Did I want to burden him with my care if I required dialysis later? It was a difficult conversation and I was almost ready to do it... why take the risk? I also knew it could be a ploy just to delay things.... I thanked her, but said I had to stick with no. Alice in the Hospital Emergency Room! ------------------------------------- When not being 'tested' I was just lay in my cell with no activity. They were having a hard time getting a pulse and blood pressure. Sometimes they would have to use the stethoscope to get the pulse. By Friday morning it had been four days without food and only dripping amounts of water. A doctor and nurse showed up early in the morning and my vital signs didn't look very vital. I can remember the nurse telling the Doc, "his pulse is weak and irregular." The doctor told me he was going to send me to a Hospital emergency room for a fluid IV. I was very relieved to hear that. It was strenuous getting to the hospital, they put a lot of chains on you, it is hard to walk, we had to wait for hours even there.... One emergency room doctor ordered the IV and they started the prep and put a tube into a vein. Then another older Doctor showed up and she questioned me about my reasons and finally said they weren't going to do it! It I wanted to hurt myself, that was my choice, when my kidney's failed, they would be happy to treat me then.... it was a medical ethics thing. I could spend pages on that thought, but I'll skip it for now... Heck, I'll sign! Give me that water! ------------------------------------- Anyway, the bag of fluid was so close! I was crushed, exhausted, and back at the jail very late in the day. It had now been 4 days. I felt the Hospital had given the jail a good 'cover' for not treating me -- it was not their fault now! I lost my confidence in success... After a few moments back in my cell, I went to the sink and drank about three-four small glasses of water. It felt great. I could feel the lights go back on in my head. It was amazing -- but my conscience felt terrible - quitter! So what are you going to tell Domenic now -- "well, it was a little too much for Dad!" What about the other parents who were counting on you? What about all that Faith and Sacrifice stuff you talk about - huh! What about it! I was at the Academy from 74-78. We had one instructor who'd been a POW during the Vietnam War. Shot down in an F-4. Should have turned left after a bomb run, but he turned right -- too bad, spend the next five years of your life in misery! I believe his back-seater died. He talked to us about torture and how it was there. I could remember one thing he said very clearly, "Don't kid yourself, when they quiz [interrogate & torture] you they will break you and you will talk." What separates the prisoners who survive with dignity from the others is rebound. Once some people fail, they start talking like a parrot, they'll do anything the enemy wants, they feel they are no good, it doesn't matter any more..... Remember, that is not true. Get your self together, when you go back to quiz the next day, don't answer. Make them work for it again.... I resolved to see it through, not drink anymore, and keep my dignity and not betray the trust my son had in me, and also many of you.... Monday and the Shakes --------------------- It was funny, but I still didn't feel hungry over the weekend. I could feel myself growing weaker. It seemed strange, but my blood sugar level rebounded into the normal range. A doctor explained that was expected, the body was now burning other internal stores to supply itself with energy. We had a small 'rec' yard. Part of it opened to the outdoors and you could see the sun and feel the wind. I used to go there and just lay in the sun -- I felt like a reptile. I had to be very careful getting up, a few times I began to black out and lost my vision. It reminded me of the effects of a high-G turn when I was flying. Anyway -- I didn't want them to see me stumble or fall. That yard was my special place, apart from everyone. If I fell, they would restrict to my cell where they could watch me closely. I didn't want that... It was now seven days with no food and very little water (just the splurge on Friday). They put me in a cell with two other inmates (the inmates told me the nursing staff had asked them to try to convince me to eat). It was about three in the morning and I had the shakes, my whole body started to tremble and I couldn't stop it. I had no idea what was going on. I asked one of my room mates to call the guard. The nurse and the guard game. The vitals were bad (as usual). She just said it was probably 'blood chemistry' and not much they could do. They left. I thought to myself, well I guess if my heart stops that will be a 'medical emergency'. I knew they could normally revive people, but what if your 'blood chemistry' is all fouled up -- hard to start the car when the plugs are fouled... It subsided after about 30 minutes. How About some Chocolate Little Boy? ----------------------------------- The next day I was walking slowly from the rec yard, one of the nursing supervisors stopped me. She pulled a beautiful Hershey's Bar out of her uniform and said, "Here, you can have this if you want." I thanked her, but turned it down. I was starting to scare myself in the shower. I looked down one day and noticed that my knees had become large -- then I realized they hadn't, but my calf and thigh had shrunk. I could feel the muscle change. It reminded me of the pictures you see of the kids starving.... I knew what was being burned for energy. I had gone in at 155 stripped, in a week I had dropped to 132 with my clothes on. Rally on Tuesday! ----------------- Teri Stoddard (teri at AKidsRight.Org) was my connection to the outside world during this time. I could call her via phone connection from my office which I could call collect. I kept her appraised of what was happening and she was making good efforts to contact the media and she told me about the Rally to be held near the jail. She passed on words of support and that certainly lifted my spirits. I was starting to get mail then. It was great to hear from other parents! If the jail had been hesitating to insert a feeding tube, I think the interest expressed by the Syracuse newspaper finally made them decide. They had originally requested to come in on Tuesday, but the jail held them off. Told them I would have the tube put in, they could talk to me on Wednesday..... Next Message ------------ Having a tube pushed up your noise and down your throat. A relief? -- John Murtari ____________________________________________________________________ Coordinator AKidsRight.Org jmurtari at AKidsRight.Org "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents" Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211) http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ From jmurtari at AKidsRight.org Mon May 28 14:28:57 2007 From: jmurtari at AKidsRight.org (John Murtari) Date: Mon, 28 May 2007 14:28:57 -0400 Subject: [AKidsRight.Org] NonViolent Action in Jail - Part III (the end). Message-ID: <18011.8041.186569.894554@hammer.thebook.com> Good People & People of Faith, This is a continuation of a prior message, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/wordpress/archives/12 , about NonViolent Action and the time I spent in jail last year. I share this so others can understand what the experience was like and learn from my mistakes. This was an extreme action and something I don't recommend or want to repeat, but it may be appropriate in certain situations. You are welcome to comment at the BLOG or via direct FEEDBACK to me. http://www.AKidsRight.Org/wordpress Good Media - Good Story - No Regrets! ------------------------------------- Before going on with more details. A few thoughts regarding the big picture. This story could have had a bad sound bite, "$60,000 deadbeat ends up in jail -- good riddance!" But there was a lot of good press and other media. Why? To hear me talk about how corrupt judges and lawyer were, or feminazis, or patriarchists, or the evils of my former spouse, the divorce industry, or me being a victim? No. I talked about how deeply I loved my son. How I'd spent almost everything I had to maintain contact and be a loving parent. About proceedings that never even recognized my Civil Right to be a FIT & EQUAL parent... Without that, how could Justice ever be done? As parents, we are blessed with one of the most powerful story lines, "Loving parent in search of their child. Sacrificing to find them and be reunited..." But somehow we forget. We get caught up in the anger or in legal terms and practicalities -- also, we don't act. We write, we talk, but we don't "do." We don't "show." As difficult as this whole experience was for me, there were no second thoughts. Yes, I was worried the pain/sacrifice would be too much and my Faith too small (my personal weaknesses). I never doubted it was the right action. Nasal-Gastric Tube Insertion ---------------------------- You know what they say, "watch out what you ask for!" That really hit home on my first day with the "tube". As a matter of fact, I almost didn't make it past the first day! Like many of you, I had never seen one of these tubes. I thought it would be a relatively serious medical procedure. Hardly! It was done in the normal examination room. I just sat on the table. The tube itself was clear plastic, not very different from the small polyethylene tubes you see at a hardware store. The doctor took time before the procedure to explain everything to me. It wiggles its way up your noise, through your sinus passages, down the back of your throat, through the esophagus, and actually into your stomach. She put a little lidocaine on the end and, told me to tilt my head back, and started pushing it up my right nostril. About 2-3 feet went inside me and I felt every inch -- I've a very active imagination! As she was pushing I was told to keep drinking from a cup of water, to insure the tube ended up in my stomach -- and not in my lungs. When I walked back to my cell it definitely felt strange. I could feel every swallow, it felt like I had a case of bad strep throat -- but I didn't know the half of it. They took a chest X-ray to confirm placement. I had to wait till evening to be fed. I'm Ready to Quit, I'll Sign - Get this thing out of me! -------------------------------------------------------- It went in on Wednesday and I hadn't eaten anything for 9 days and very little water. They wanted my stomach to get used to something before they started the feedings so I took some jello. It wasn't that much, but after about an hour I began to feel terrible. I remember the Doctor telling me, "John, we really don't want you to vomit with that thing in you..." I kept feeling more and more pressure in my stomach and didn't know what was going on. I was watching TV and had gotten up to walk back to my cell when I just started heaving and went down on my knees retching. The guard was worried about keeping the floor clean and yells, "Murtari, do it in your cell!" He sent out a call for the nurses and I barely got back to the 'porcelain phone.' I'm heaving again and again, but nothing is coming out. I was weak, dizzy, and uncomfortable from this garden hose down my throat... I thought, "When the nurses get here I'm telling them to pull it out. I just can't take it anymore. That's it!" And.... if the nurses had shown up quickly, that is probably what would have happened. All done, game over.... Thank God prison medical care is slow! It took them about 10 minutes to show up. I guess I just needed to be burped like a baby. After the heaving my stomach settled and I felt fine. I never had a problem with vomiting again and told the nurses I was fine. Right! Life with a tube ---------------- Two things. You feel every swallow and it can hurt. The other thing, which gets into some anatomy -- is that the tube is placed into your stomach, past the little esophageal sphincter valve which normally closes off your stomach from your throat. Stomach acids can leak up your throat and give you a wicked case of 'heart burn'. This means you always sleep at an up angle, especially after a meal you keep your body up for at least an hour. Keeping the tube in position is difficult. In a hospital they use a string and a clip to hold it -- no strings in jail! We might strangle someone. Mine was held with surgical tape to my nose and I needed to re-tape it twice a day. The initial tube would move easily. Also, during a feeding, since the fluid was cold you could get a little/lot of mucus (or should I use the medical term snot) coming out of your nose -- a real treat! Sleeping was a whole other adventure. I had the tube tied off and coiled around my neck, but I could barely get into a comfortable position, and then the swallowing pain.... What a difference a millimeter makes! ------------------------------------- In my 4 months I had three different feeding tubes. The first one lasted about a week and was growing more uncomfortable each day. Before starting a feeding the nurses would put air through the tube and listen to my stomach using a stethoscope to confirm placement. Well, they couldn't hear it. Took another X-Ray, and they couldn't see it. They pulled it out and then I was looking forward to another one. The Doc used my left nostril and the tube was a little bigger "he thought." Well, this one went in very hard. He was pressing and it was hard for me to keep my head in position, finally it just about jammed when it got to the right depth -- I could really feel it. He told me, "John, sometimes your sinus passages are a little different for each side, a much tighter fit here..." Tell me about it! This one hurt from the start, but at least it was jammed so tight I didn't have to worry about movement. Drowning on the Beach in Wonderland ----------------------------------- Honestly, up to this point, I'm not really proud of my conduct. Got lucky a few times and made it okay. But the next 9 days I stood my ground and just took it..... I'd had two close calls and I wasn't going to quit now. Within a few days the new tube was very uncomfortable. I was only sleeping for an hour or two at a time. My throat was on fire and I was really feeling the acid reflux. They gave me medication. I had to stay very 'propped up' to avoid pain. I had a hospital bed and the end was up about 30 degrees, the only problem was if I relaxed I would slide down and the acid would hit.... In a few more days it got to the point where I just didn't want to swallow. I kept a little bowl next to my bed and a roll of toilet paper. When the fluid would build up in my mouth I would just spit into the paper, after a while that bowel was a sopping mess. Days weren't too bad, I could walk around, sit in a chair, but the nights were never ending. I was gagging on the fluid so much I just couldn't get any rest. I would sit up in bed or lean against the wall, it was slow misery. I'd put in a 'sick call slip' to see the Doctor, but had to wait a few days. There were about 3 nights that were just fantasy land. I wasn't dreaming, it's the closest thing I could think to a delirium. I felt I was drowning and needed to swim, needed to grab something, but at the same time I knew I was in my bed, not on a beach. I had to force myself to realize I was in a jail bed, not drowning. When I finally saw the doctor, he looked down my throat and said, "We've got to remove it now." They waited a few days before inserting another.... Lesson Learned -------------- More than anything it made me appreciate what has always been said about NonViolent Action, you have to be motivated by love, by a positive goal. If you are doing something out of anger/spite -- it just won't last. At the beginning several guards told me, "Murtari, your wasting your time, we get hunger-strikers all the time, nobody cares, die if you want to!" Well, they were wrong. This wasn't the angry prisoner, but a loving parent... Finally, into routine! --------------------- The new tube was smaller and went into my right nostril. We lived at peace with each other. It stayed in me for the rest of my jail time, about three months. I then got into a routine, exercise three times a day after every feeding. Jumping jacks, sit-ups, and push ups. I also walked for half an hour twice a day. I knew I had lost a lot of muscle, they were feeding me a lot of calories and I needed to recover. I had a book of the Psalms sent into me and would pray at regular intervals. The letters many of you wrote were great and it became just a matter of 'doing the time.' In the back of my mind I was worried about my friend, the tube. I asked the Doctor if my valves and swallowing would return to normal after it was removed. He said it "should." I thought, "John, you could walk out with permanent acid reflux AND swallowing might always feel funny..." It didn't matter. Very, very fortunate -------------------- There were no side effects. I left in good health and the ability to enjoy Christmas with my son. He turned 14 in February and I flew out to see him. On June 14th he will be here, God willing, for Summer vacation. We get six straight weeks together! We are very, very fortunate. So many people were helpful, I can't mention them all here for I'm sure to leave someone out. Many are mentioned at the web site, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/support_jm.htm -- my heartfelt thanks. A special thanks again to Teri Stoddard, a mom out in California, teri at AKidsRight.Org, http://www.sharedparentingworks.org/, and a BLOG at Men's News daily, http://teristoddard.mensnewsdaily.com/ She was my daily life-line to the outside and did a lot of work that helped make this a positive story for all of us.... Just Giving Back - I'll Sign! ----------------------------- Don't thank me too much. My decision and choice was pretty easy. I remembered all the pain and tears the system had caused Dom and I. The indignity and injustice when I was thrown in jail for six months back in 2000. But we still love each other, I get big hugs! This may sound strange, but the pain I willingly endured wiped the slate clean for all the suffering we'd been given. The system and I were 'even'. I hear so many of your stories. Children who have been alienated and hate you. Living every day of your life knowing you 'had' a child. Knowing that once gone, childhood is never "made up." I don't know if I'd be able to survive what some of you go through EACH AND EVERY DAY! Both Domenic and I know how very lucky we are, what might have been. In a very graphic example, if the Almighty had given me a choice and said: Live like many of you, have a child who is 'gone' -- or, have the gift of a child who loved you through it all. I would easily sign up -- give me the big fat tube from H$ll!. What I am doing is just showing the appreciation for what I have. It is worth more than anything else in life. Also, as I have said to so many. Keep the Faith, keep the door open to your children. Do not give up (as I almost did so many times in this story), and even if you have -- get back up and try again.... "The NonViolent approach does not immediately change the heart of the oppressor. It first does something to the hearts and souls of those committed to it. It gives them self respect; it calls up resources of strength and courage that they didn't think they had. It reaches the opponent and so stirs his conscience that reconciliation becomes a reality." -- Martin Luther King -- John Murtari ____________________________________________________________________ Coordinator AKidsRight.Org jmurtari at AKidsRight.Org "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents" Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211) http://www.AKidsRight.Org/